Our Specialties
Anxiety
Anxiety is a natural part of the human experience, but it often escalates to levels that interfere with our lives and become debilitating. When we experience symptoms of intense anxiety, our instinct is often to push those feelings aside or to try to avoid them entirely. Yet engaging in a battle with our anxious thoughts and emotions may unintentionally amplify them, leaving us feeling more distressed. In this struggle, a sense of loneliness and stagnation emerges, influencing us in ways that harm ourselves and our relationships. This cycle persists, contributing to the experience of chronic anxiety and burnout. It's crucial to approach these emotions with compassion and seek support to break free from this cycle. Acknowledging the discomfort of anxiety and giving voice to it in a safe therapeutic relationship is the first step.
Individuals in the queer community often face heightened rates of anxiety due to the emotional toll of social stigmas surrounding our identities. We grow accustomed to the experience of not feeling safe and having our guard up, and the thought of being truly seen by anyone can cause alarm bells to go off internally. We often end up in a cycle of defensiveness and isolation that leads to more anxiety.
At Expansive Therapy, our approach is centered on guiding you to embrace every facet of yourself. We welcome anxiety into the therapy space to distinguish what parts of the anxiety are due to present stimulus, and therefore functional, from the parts that are relics of an unsafe childhood or other causes. When we can truly be with our anxiety and regulate it in a safe relationship, then we can get to the deeper emotions beneath our anxiety: shame, sadness, anger, heartbreak, etc. When experienced in the right container, these deeper emotions hold the keys to our healing and growth.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a natural part of the human experience, but it often escalates to levels that interfere with our lives and become debilitating. When we experience symptoms of intense anxiety, our instinct is often to push those feelings aside or to try to avoid them entirely. Yet engaging in a battle with our anxious thoughts and emotions may unintentionally amplify them, leaving us feeling more distressed. In this struggle, a sense of loneliness and stagnation emerges, influencing us in ways that harm ourselves and our relationships. This cycle persists, contributing to the experience of chronic anxiety and burnout. It's crucial to approach these emotions with compassion and seek support to break free from this cycle. Acknowledging the discomfort of anxiety and giving voice to it in a safe therapeutic relationship is the first step.
Individuals in the queer community often face heightened rates of anxiety due to the emotional toll of social stigmas surrounding our identities. We grow accustomed to the experience of not feeling safe and having our guard up, and the thought of being truly seen by anyone can cause alarm bells to go off internally. We often end up in a cycle of defensiveness and isolation that leads to more anxiety.
At Expansive Therapy, our approach is centered on guiding you to embrace every facet of yourself. We welcome anxiety into the therapy space to distinguish what parts of the anxiety are due to present stimulus, and therefore functional, from the parts that are relics of an unsafe childhood or other causes. When we can truly be with our anxiety and regulate it in a safe relationship, then we can get to the deeper emotions beneath our anxiety: shame, sadness, anger, heartbreak, etc. When experienced in the right container, these deeper emotions hold the keys to our healing and growth.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a natural part of the human experience, but it often escalates to levels that interfere with our lives and become debilitating. When we experience symptoms of intense anxiety, our instinct is often to push those feelings aside or to try to avoid them entirely. Yet engaging in a battle with our anxious thoughts and emotions may unintentionally amplify them, leaving us feeling more distressed. In this struggle, a sense of loneliness and stagnation emerges, influencing us in ways that harm ourselves and our relationships. This cycle persists, contributing to the experience of chronic anxiety and burnout. It's crucial to approach these emotions with compassion and seek support to break free from this cycle. Acknowledging the discomfort of anxiety and giving voice to it in a safe therapeutic relationship is the first step.
Individuals in the queer community often face heightened rates of anxiety due to the emotional toll of social stigmas surrounding our identities. We grow accustomed to the experience of not feeling safe and having our guard up, and the thought of being truly seen by anyone can cause alarm bells to go off internally. We often end up in a cycle of defensiveness and isolation that leads to more anxiety.
At Expansive Therapy, our approach is centered on guiding you to embrace every facet of yourself. We welcome anxiety into the therapy space to distinguish what parts of the anxiety are due to present stimulus, and therefore functional, from the parts that are relics of an unsafe childhood or other causes. When we can truly be with our anxiety and regulate it in a safe relationship, then we can get to the deeper emotions beneath our anxiety: shame, sadness, anger, heartbreak, etc. When experienced in the right container, these deeper emotions hold the keys to our healing and growth.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a natural part of the human experience, but it often escalates to levels that interfere with our lives and become debilitating. When we experience symptoms of intense anxiety, our instinct is often to push those feelings aside or to try to avoid them entirely. Yet engaging in a battle with our anxious thoughts and emotions may unintentionally amplify them, leaving us feeling more distressed. In this struggle, a sense of loneliness and stagnation emerges, influencing us in ways that harm ourselves and our relationships. This cycle persists, contributing to the experience of chronic anxiety and burnout. It's crucial to approach these emotions with compassion and seek support to break free from this cycle. Acknowledging the discomfort of anxiety and giving voice to it in a safe therapeutic relationship is the first step.
Individuals in the queer community often face heightened rates of anxiety due to the emotional toll of social stigmas surrounding our identities. We grow accustomed to the experience of not feeling safe and having our guard up, and the thought of being truly seen by anyone can cause alarm bells to go off internally. We often end up in a cycle of defensiveness and isolation that leads to more anxiety.
At Expansive Therapy, our approach is centered on guiding you to embrace every facet of yourself. We welcome anxiety into the therapy space to distinguish what parts of the anxiety are due to present stimulus, and therefore functional, from the parts that are relics of an unsafe childhood or other causes. When we can truly be with our anxiety and regulate it in a safe relationship, then we can get to the deeper emotions beneath our anxiety: shame, sadness, anger, heartbreak, etc. When experienced in the right container, these deeper emotions hold the keys to our healing and growth.
Depression
Depression can feel differently to different people and also lives on a spectrum. Sometimes, at the core of a depressive episode or long term depression is deep grief and heartbreak about something in our past. In other instances, we can take on an emotional pattern from our caretakers that leads to depression. Wherever you are on the spectrum of depressive symptoms, seeking help is the first step to understanding and healing.
Generally speaking, when we don’t have enough emotional support in our lives or when we go through traumas in isolation, our emotions begin to feel overwhelming, and we have no choice but to repress or cut off from them. Over time, we become overburdened by the weight of unaddressed emotion, and this can lead to an overall feeling of depression. Symptoms of depression can include losing interest in the things that we used to derive pleasure from, feeling heavy and tired, getting stuck in negative thought patterns, disrupted sleep and eating patterns, and thoughts of self harm or suicide.
Clinical depression can create a fog of hopelessness that makes facing it and working on it seem especially daunting. Walking into the therapy room for the first time under those conditions is difficult. We want to create a space where you can show up exactly as you are without needing to perform or pretend that it’s better than it is. We do our best to form an authentic relationship where all of your parts are welcome.
Gradually, as trust builds between you and your therapist, we aim to help you develop the strength needed to revisit the emotions that had to get split off in the past. We help facilitate corrective emotional experiences, where you can be seen, held, and validated while experiencing your pain. With each one of these new experiences, the weight of depression gets a bit lighter, and new neural pathways begin to form that allow you to feel more in the present instead of burdened by the past.
If you’re noticing some of the signs of depression, it is never too early or too late to reach out for help. We are comfortable and experienced in this area, and we are ready to begin the unburdening process with you.
Depression
Depression can feel differently to different people and also lives on a spectrum. Sometimes, at the core of a depressive episode or long term depression is deep grief and heartbreak about something in our past. In other instances, we can take on an emotional pattern from our caretakers that leads to depression. Wherever you are on the spectrum of depressive symptoms, seeking help is the first step to understanding and healing.
Generally speaking, when we don’t have enough emotional support in our lives or when we go through traumas in isolation, our emotions begin to feel overwhelming, and we have no choice but to repress or cut off from them. Over time, we become overburdened by the weight of unaddressed emotion, and this can lead to an overall feeling of depression. Symptoms of depression can include losing interest in the things that we used to derive pleasure from, feeling heavy and tired, getting stuck in negative thought patterns, disrupted sleep and eating patterns, and thoughts of self harm or suicide.
Clinical depression can create a fog of hopelessness that makes facing it and working on it seem especially daunting. Walking into the therapy room for the first time under those conditions is difficult. We want to create a space where you can show up exactly as you are without needing to perform or pretend that it’s better than it is. We do our best to form an authentic relationship where all of your parts are welcome.
Gradually, as trust builds between you and your therapist, we aim to help you develop the strength needed to revisit the emotions that had to get split off in the past. We help facilitate corrective emotional experiences, where you can be seen, held, and validated while experiencing your pain. With each one of these new experiences, the weight of depression gets a bit lighter, and new neural pathways begin to form that allow you to feel more in the present instead of burdened by the past.
If you’re noticing some of the signs of depression, it is never too early or too late to reach out for help. We are comfortable and experienced in this area, and we are ready to begin the unburdening process with you.
Depression
Depression can feel differently to different people and also lives on a spectrum. Sometimes, at the core of a depressive episode or long term depression is deep grief and heartbreak about something in our past. In other instances, we can take on an emotional pattern from our caretakers that leads to depression. Wherever you are on the spectrum of depressive symptoms, seeking help is the first step to understanding and healing.
Generally speaking, when we don’t have enough emotional support in our lives or when we go through traumas in isolation, our emotions begin to feel overwhelming, and we have no choice but to repress or cut off from them. Over time, we become overburdened by the weight of unaddressed emotion, and this can lead to an overall feeling of depression. Symptoms of depression can include losing interest in the things that we used to derive pleasure from, feeling heavy and tired, getting stuck in negative thought patterns, disrupted sleep and eating patterns, and thoughts of self harm or suicide.
Clinical depression can create a fog of hopelessness that makes facing it and working on it seem especially daunting. Walking into the therapy room for the first time under those conditions is difficult. We want to create a space where you can show up exactly as you are without needing to perform or pretend that it’s better than it is. We do our best to form an authentic relationship where all of your parts are welcome.
Gradually, as trust builds between you and your therapist, we aim to help you develop the strength needed to revisit the emotions that had to get split off in the past. We help facilitate corrective emotional experiences, where you can be seen, held, and validated while experiencing your pain. With each one of these new experiences, the weight of depression gets a bit lighter, and new neural pathways begin to form that allow you to feel more in the present instead of burdened by the past.
If you’re noticing some of the signs of depression, it is never too early or too late to reach out for help. We are comfortable and experienced in this area, and we are ready to begin the unburdening process with you.
Depression
Depression can feel differently to different people and also lives on a spectrum. Sometimes, at the core of a depressive episode or long term depression is deep grief and heartbreak about something in our past. In other instances, we can take on an emotional pattern from our caretakers that leads to depression. Wherever you are on the spectrum of depressive symptoms, seeking help is the first step to understanding and healing.
Generally speaking, when we don’t have enough emotional support in our lives or when we go through traumas in isolation, our emotions begin to feel overwhelming, and we have no choice but to repress or cut off from them. Over time, we become overburdened by the weight of unaddressed emotion, and this can lead to an overall feeling of depression. Symptoms of depression can include losing interest in the things that we used to derive pleasure from, feeling heavy and tired, getting stuck in negative thought patterns, disrupted sleep and eating patterns, and thoughts of self harm or suicide.
Clinical depression can create a fog of hopelessness that makes facing it and working on it seem especially daunting. Walking into the therapy room for the first time under those conditions is difficult. We want to create a space where you can show up exactly as you are without needing to perform or pretend that it’s better than it is. We do our best to form an authentic relationship where all of your parts are welcome.
Gradually, as trust builds between you and your therapist, we aim to help you develop the strength needed to revisit the emotions that had to get split off in the past. We help facilitate corrective emotional experiences, where you can be seen, held, and validated while experiencing your pain. With each one of these new experiences, the weight of depression gets a bit lighter, and new neural pathways begin to form that allow you to feel more in the present instead of burdened by the past.
If you’re noticing some of the signs of depression, it is never too early or too late to reach out for help. We are comfortable and experienced in this area, and we are ready to begin the unburdening process with you.
LGBTQ+ Issues
There are so many different ways to be queer, and different identities within the LGBTQ+ community. The gay experience is very different from the trans experience, which is very different from the asexual experience, so it can be difficult to speak generally about the issues our community faces. However, there do tend to be some basic commonalities in terms of our mental health. Growing up queer usually means that safe spaces were hard to find from a very early age, even within the home. Because of this, we erect defensive structures very early in life and often feel that we have to take care of ourselves. We grow to deeply fear dependency and vulnerability, which can lead to patterns of defensiveness and loneliness. In our isolation, we internalize the messages we receive about our identities because no one is there to tell us not to. We often grow to believe that something is wrong with us, that we are inherently broken or deeply unloveable.
This is the basic mental structure that many of us bring into adulthood: highly defended, hypervigilant for signs of rejection in our environments, averse to vulnerability and dependency, and holding profoundly negative views about ourselves due to societal messaging. This structure forms the basis for many of the mental health issues we face as a community, from isolation and addiction to anxiety and depression. It is what brings most of us into therapy. On a fundamental level, it’s important to understand that all of these issues are not inherent to being queer but due to the experience of being queer in the world. In other words, the problem is out there, not within us.
At Expansive Therapy, we feel passionately about helping our queer clients to break free from these structures and expand beyond them. We help our clients to tap into their queer strength - the part of us that decided to come out, the part that celebrates that we are unique and different - and bring that strength and compassion to our internal experience within the context of safe and trusting relationship. We invite our clients to recognize their deeply ingrained defenses that emerged due to being queer in a heteronormative world, and to open up. Once we start to relax and open up, we open the door to healing our deepest wounds and bringing ourselves more fully into the present.
LGBTQ+ Issues
There are so many different ways to be queer, and different identities within the LGBTQ+ community. The gay experience is very different from the trans experience, which is very different from the asexual experience, so it can be difficult to speak generally about the issues our community faces. However, there do tend to be some basic commonalities in terms of our mental health. Growing up queer usually means that safe spaces were hard to find from a very early age, even within the home. Because of this, we erect defensive structures very early in life and often feel that we have to take care of ourselves. We grow to deeply fear dependency and vulnerability, which can lead to patterns of defensiveness and loneliness. In our isolation, we internalize the messages we receive about our identities because no one is there to tell us not to. We often grow to believe that something is wrong with us, that we are inherently broken or deeply unloveable.
This is the basic mental structure that many of us bring into adulthood: highly defended, hypervigilant for signs of rejection in our environments, averse to vulnerability and dependency, and holding profoundly negative views about ourselves due to societal messaging. This structure forms the basis for many of the mental health issues we face as a community, from isolation and addiction to anxiety and depression. It is what brings most of us into therapy. On a fundamental level, it’s important to understand that all of these issues are not inherent to being queer but due to the experience of being queer in the world. In other words, the problem is out there, not within us.
At Expansive Therapy, we feel passionately about helping our queer clients to break free from these structures and expand beyond them. We help our clients to tap into their queer strength - the part of us that decided to come out, the part that celebrates that we are unique and different - and bring that strength and compassion to our internal experience within the context of safe and trusting relationship. We invite our clients to recognize their deeply ingrained defenses that emerged due to being queer in a heteronormative world, and to open up. Once we start to relax and open up, we open the door to healing our deepest wounds and bringing ourselves more fully into the present.
LGBTQ+ Issues
There are so many different ways to be queer, and different identities within the LGBTQ+ community. The gay experience is very different from the trans experience, which is very different from the asexual experience, so it can be difficult to speak generally about the issues our community faces. However, there do tend to be some basic commonalities in terms of our mental health. Growing up queer usually means that safe spaces were hard to find from a very early age, even within the home. Because of this, we erect defensive structures very early in life and often feel that we have to take care of ourselves. We grow to deeply fear dependency and vulnerability, which can lead to patterns of defensiveness and loneliness. In our isolation, we internalize the messages we receive about our identities because no one is there to tell us not to. We often grow to believe that something is wrong with us, that we are inherently broken or deeply unloveable.
This is the basic mental structure that many of us bring into adulthood: highly defended, hypervigilant for signs of rejection in our environments, averse to vulnerability and dependency, and holding profoundly negative views about ourselves due to societal messaging. This structure forms the basis for many of the mental health issues we face as a community, from isolation and addiction to anxiety and depression. It is what brings most of us into therapy. On a fundamental level, it’s important to understand that all of these issues are not inherent to being queer but due to the experience of being queer in the world. In other words, the problem is out there, not within us.
At Expansive Therapy, we feel passionately about helping our queer clients to break free from these structures and expand beyond them. We help our clients to tap into their queer strength - the part of us that decided to come out, the part that celebrates that we are unique and different - and bring that strength and compassion to our internal experience within the context of safe and trusting relationship. We invite our clients to recognize their deeply ingrained defenses that emerged due to being queer in a heteronormative world, and to open up. Once we start to relax and open up, we open the door to healing our deepest wounds and bringing ourselves more fully into the present.
LGBTQ+ Issues
There are so many different ways to be queer, and different identities within the LGBTQ+ community. The gay experience is very different from the trans experience, which is very different from the asexual experience, so it can be difficult to speak generally about the issues our community faces. However, there do tend to be some basic commonalities in terms of our mental health. Growing up queer usually means that safe spaces were hard to find from a very early age, even within the home. Because of this, we erect defensive structures very early in life and often feel that we have to take care of ourselves. We grow to deeply fear dependency and vulnerability, which can lead to patterns of defensiveness and loneliness. In our isolation, we internalize the messages we receive about our identities because no one is there to tell us not to. We often grow to believe that something is wrong with us, that we are inherently broken or deeply unloveable.
This is the basic mental structure that many of us bring into adulthood: highly defended, hypervigilant for signs of rejection in our environments, averse to vulnerability and dependency, and holding profoundly negative views about ourselves due to societal messaging. This structure forms the basis for many of the mental health issues we face as a community, from isolation and addiction to anxiety and depression. It is what brings most of us into therapy. On a fundamental level, it’s important to understand that all of these issues are not inherent to being queer but due to the experience of being queer in the world. In other words, the problem is out there, not within us.
At Expansive Therapy, we feel passionately about helping our queer clients to break free from these structures and expand beyond them. We help our clients to tap into their queer strength - the part of us that decided to come out, the part that celebrates that we are unique and different - and bring that strength and compassion to our internal experience within the context of safe and trusting relationship. We invite our clients to recognize their deeply ingrained defenses that emerged due to being queer in a heteronormative world, and to open up. Once we start to relax and open up, we open the door to healing our deepest wounds and bringing ourselves more fully into the present.
Trauma & PTSD
Most people encounter trauma at some point in their lives. Trauma is an emotional response to a distressing event that exceeds our capacity to cope. Traumatic events tend to be unpredictable and outside of one’s control, often disrupting their sense of emotional safety. Unexpected tragedy, experiencing or witnessing abuse, and sexual assault are all examples of trauma. As therapists, we understand that trauma is a deeply subjective and personal experience that transcends definitions. Often events or situations that aren’t universally categorized as traumatic can still be experienced as trauma. We honor that every nervous system is different and every individual has unique emotional responses.
Emotional difficulties that stem from trauma can lead to persistent issues that impact our relationships and daily lives. We might experience heightened anxiety, numbness, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, and disassociation, often making it difficult to feel fully alive and feel pleasure. People tend to withdraw to avoid reminders of their traumatic experiences and may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse.
Often in the aftermath of trauma, people will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), where the experience of trauma does not get processed the same way that other experiences do, it remains stuck in the body and experienced as a present event. When this is the case, people often experience flashbacks so vivid that it feels as if they’re actually reliving the experience. The nervous system becomes hypervigilant and the person lives in constant fight/flight mode, creating changes in the brain and body. Researchers believe that these changes are the system’s attempt to protect from further harm, but this protection is not helpful when the source of danger is no longer present—it leaves the individual living in fear and isolation with a constant feeling of internal activation.
At Expansive Therapy we practice trauma-informed care, which treats the whole person and recognizes past trauma and coping mechanisms that the person may have adopted to survive their distressing experience. We move slowly and with great care when it comes to trauma. Gradually, we help you to rebuild a connection with your body and your emotions. We help you to establish practices in your life that reinforce this connection. Once a strong enough mind -body connection is formed, we help you to process the trauma and move on from it.
Our therapists trained directly for six months with the world’s leading trauma expert, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. In addition, many of our therapists are certified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). This growing treatment involves moving your eyes in a specific way while you process traumatic memories. Dozens of studies have shown phenomenal results with EMDR therapy.
Trauma and PTSD can instill a belief that healing is not possible. At Expansive Therapy, we believe that healing from trauma is not only possible, but in the right environment can actually lead to post traumatic growth. Through trauma work, you can develop a stronger connection to your body, build resilience, develop effective coping skills, redefine your purpose, and gain a deeper appreciation for life
Trauma & PTSD
Most people encounter trauma at some point in their lives. Trauma is an emotional response to a distressing event that exceeds our capacity to cope. Traumatic events tend to be unpredictable and outside of one’s control, often disrupting their sense of emotional safety. Unexpected tragedy, experiencing or witnessing abuse, and sexual assault are all examples of trauma. As therapists, we understand that trauma is a deeply subjective and personal experience that transcends definitions. Often events or situations that aren’t universally categorized as traumatic can still be experienced as trauma. We honor that every nervous system is different and every individual has unique emotional responses.
Emotional difficulties that stem from trauma can lead to persistent issues that impact our relationships and daily lives. We might experience heightened anxiety, numbness, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, and disassociation, often making it difficult to feel fully alive and feel pleasure. People tend to withdraw to avoid reminders of their traumatic experiences and may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse.
Often in the aftermath of trauma, people will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), where the experience of trauma does not get processed the same way that other experiences do, it remains stuck in the body and experienced as a present event. When this is the case, people often experience flashbacks so vivid that it feels as if they’re actually reliving the experience. The nervous system becomes hypervigilant and the person lives in constant fight/flight mode, creating changes in the brain and body. Researchers believe that these changes are the system’s attempt to protect from further harm, but this protection is not helpful when the source of danger is no longer present—it leaves the individual living in fear and isolation with a constant feeling of internal activation.
At Expansive Therapy we practice trauma-informed care, which treats the whole person and recognizes past trauma and coping mechanisms that the person may have adopted to survive their distressing experience. We move slowly and with great care when it comes to trauma. Gradually, we help you to rebuild a connection with your body and your emotions. We help you to establish practices in your life that reinforce this connection. Once a strong enough mind -body connection is formed, we help you to process the trauma and move on from it.
Our therapists trained directly for six months with the world’s leading trauma expert, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. In addition, many of our therapists are certified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). This growing treatment involves moving your eyes in a specific way while you process traumatic memories. Dozens of studies have shown phenomenal results with EMDR therapy.
Trauma and PTSD can instill a belief that healing is not possible. At Expansive Therapy, we believe that healing from trauma is not only possible, but in the right environment can actually lead to post traumatic growth. Through trauma work, you can develop a stronger connection to your body, build resilience, develop effective coping skills, redefine your purpose, and gain a deeper appreciation for life
Trauma & PTSD
Most people encounter trauma at some point in their lives. Trauma is an emotional response to a distressing event that exceeds our capacity to cope. Traumatic events tend to be unpredictable and outside of one’s control, often disrupting their sense of emotional safety. Unexpected tragedy, experiencing or witnessing abuse, and sexual assault are all examples of trauma. As therapists, we understand that trauma is a deeply subjective and personal experience that transcends definitions. Often events or situations that aren’t universally categorized as traumatic can still be experienced as trauma. We honor that every nervous system is different and every individual has unique emotional responses.
Emotional difficulties that stem from trauma can lead to persistent issues that impact our relationships and daily lives. We might experience heightened anxiety, numbness, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, and disassociation, often making it difficult to feel fully alive and feel pleasure. People tend to withdraw to avoid reminders of their traumatic experiences and may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse.
Often in the aftermath of trauma, people will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), where the experience of trauma does not get processed the same way that other experiences do, it remains stuck in the body and experienced as a present event. When this is the case, people often experience flashbacks so vivid that it feels as if they’re actually reliving the experience. The nervous system becomes hypervigilant and the person lives in constant fight/flight mode, creating changes in the brain and body. Researchers believe that these changes are the system’s attempt to protect from further harm, but this protection is not helpful when the source of danger is no longer present—it leaves the individual living in fear and isolation with a constant feeling of internal activation.
At Expansive Therapy we practice trauma-informed care, which treats the whole person and recognizes past trauma and coping mechanisms that the person may have adopted to survive their distressing experience. We move slowly and with great care when it comes to trauma. Gradually, we help you to rebuild a connection with your body and your emotions. We help you to establish practices in your life that reinforce this connection. Once a strong enough mind -body connection is formed, we help you to process the trauma and move on from it.
Our therapists trained directly for six months with the world’s leading trauma expert, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. In addition, many of our therapists are certified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). This growing treatment involves moving your eyes in a specific way while you process traumatic memories. Dozens of studies have shown phenomenal results with EMDR therapy.
Trauma and PTSD can instill a belief that healing is not possible. At Expansive Therapy, we believe that healing from trauma is not only possible, but in the right environment can actually lead to post traumatic growth. Through trauma work, you can develop a stronger connection to your body, build resilience, develop effective coping skills, redefine your purpose, and gain a deeper appreciation for life
Trauma & PTSD
Most people encounter trauma at some point in their lives. Trauma is an emotional response to a distressing event that exceeds our capacity to cope. Traumatic events tend to be unpredictable and outside of one’s control, often disrupting their sense of emotional safety. Unexpected tragedy, experiencing or witnessing abuse, and sexual assault are all examples of trauma. As therapists, we understand that trauma is a deeply subjective and personal experience that transcends definitions. Often events or situations that aren’t universally categorized as traumatic can still be experienced as trauma. We honor that every nervous system is different and every individual has unique emotional responses.
Emotional difficulties that stem from trauma can lead to persistent issues that impact our relationships and daily lives. We might experience heightened anxiety, numbness, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, and disassociation, often making it difficult to feel fully alive and feel pleasure. People tend to withdraw to avoid reminders of their traumatic experiences and may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse.
Often in the aftermath of trauma, people will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), where the experience of trauma does not get processed the same way that other experiences do, it remains stuck in the body and experienced as a present event. When this is the case, people often experience flashbacks so vivid that it feels as if they’re actually reliving the experience. The nervous system becomes hypervigilant and the person lives in constant fight/flight mode, creating changes in the brain and body. Researchers believe that these changes are the system’s attempt to protect from further harm, but this protection is not helpful when the source of danger is no longer present—it leaves the individual living in fear and isolation with a constant feeling of internal activation.
At Expansive Therapy we practice trauma-informed care, which treats the whole person and recognizes past trauma and coping mechanisms that the person may have adopted to survive their distressing experience. We move slowly and with great care when it comes to trauma. Gradually, we help you to rebuild a connection with your body and your emotions. We help you to establish practices in your life that reinforce this connection. Once a strong enough mind -body connection is formed, we help you to process the trauma and move on from it.
Our therapists trained directly for six months with the world’s leading trauma expert, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. In addition, many of our therapists are certified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). This growing treatment involves moving your eyes in a specific way while you process traumatic memories. Dozens of studies have shown phenomenal results with EMDR therapy.
Trauma and PTSD can instill a belief that healing is not possible. At Expansive Therapy, we believe that healing from trauma is not only possible, but in the right environment can actually lead to post traumatic growth. Through trauma work, you can develop a stronger connection to your body, build resilience, develop effective coping skills, redefine your purpose, and gain a deeper appreciation for life
Relationship issues & codependency
The quality of our relationships has a major influence on our sense of well being and belonging in the world. For some, relationships are too difficult to develop due to a lack of safety and trust stemming from past relational trauma, leading to patterns of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. For others, relationships become unsatisfying over time, and we may find ourselves repeating a similar pattern that leaves us feeling stuck and alone.
Navigating relationships can be very challenging. Past experiences and fears often influence our choice of partners and how we respond to conflict when it arises. While it’s common for couples to feel some shame about relationship issues, most feel relief when they get in the room with a therapist and have the experience of being heard and validated. As therapists, we share that these struggles are a normal part of the human experience. Once we are able to say what we are feeling and be heard in a safe environment, the work of repair and healing and growth can begin.
Communication issues can be common in relationships. Attempts to communicate often lead to arguments and couples may find that despite their attempts to change, they always seem to revert to unhealthy patterns of behavior, or even the same argument over and over. Other common issues that arise are over the division of power, broken trust, space, roles and the inability to deeply listen to your partner.
Codependency arises most often in early life as a way to stay connected to your caretakers. In a nutshell, the codependent person cannot be happy unless their partner is happy. The need to focus on someone else’s feelings and needs over your own made sense in early life if you had a parent who struggled with taking care of themselves or being available to meet your needs. Now that you are an adult, these same coping mechanisms no longer serve you or the relationship. A common thread is the shared experience of suffering, with both partners feeling an indispensable reliance on each other.These are common issues, live on a spectrum, and are a welcome subject in your therapy session.
At Expansive we endeavor to view relationships as unique to each partner, and when healthy, an opportunity for expansion. We begin by getting to know each partner and helping both parties listen to each other. From there, central issues such as communication, changing desires, alternative relationships, etc can be addressed.
Relationship issues & codependency
The quality of our relationships has a major influence on our sense of well being and belonging in the world. For some, relationships are too difficult to develop due to a lack of safety and trust stemming from past relational trauma, leading to patterns of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. For others, relationships become unsatisfying over time, and we may find ourselves repeating a similar pattern that leaves us feeling stuck and alone.
Navigating relationships can be very challenging. Past experiences and fears often influence our choice of partners and how we respond to conflict when it arises. While it’s common for couples to feel some shame about relationship issues, most feel relief when they get in the room with a therapist and have the experience of being heard and validated. As therapists, we share that these struggles are a normal part of the human experience. Once we are able to say what we are feeling and be heard in a safe environment, the work of repair and healing and growth can begin.
Communication issues can be common in relationships. Attempts to communicate often lead to arguments and couples may find that despite their attempts to change, they always seem to revert to unhealthy patterns of behavior, or even the same argument over and over. Other common issues that arise are over the division of power, broken trust, space, roles and the inability to deeply listen to your partner.
Codependency arises most often in early life as a way to stay connected to your caretakers. In a nutshell, the codependent person cannot be happy unless their partner is happy. The need to focus on someone else’s feelings and needs over your own made sense in early life if you had a parent who struggled with taking care of themselves or being available to meet your needs. Now that you are an adult, these same coping mechanisms no longer serve you or the relationship. A common thread is the shared experience of suffering, with both partners feeling an indispensable reliance on each other.These are common issues, live on a spectrum, and are a welcome subject in your therapy session.
At Expansive we endeavor to view relationships as unique to each partner, and when healthy, an opportunity for expansion. We begin by getting to know each partner and helping both parties listen to each other. From there, central issues such as communication, changing desires, alternative relationships, etc can be addressed.
Relationship issues & codependency
The quality of our relationships has a major influence on our sense of well being and belonging in the world. For some, relationships are too difficult to develop due to a lack of safety and trust stemming from past relational trauma, leading to patterns of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. For others, relationships become unsatisfying over time, and we may find ourselves repeating a similar pattern that leaves us feeling stuck and alone.
Navigating relationships can be very challenging. Past experiences and fears often influence our choice of partners and how we respond to conflict when it arises. While it’s common for couples to feel some shame about relationship issues, most feel relief when they get in the room with a therapist and have the experience of being heard and validated. As therapists, we share that these struggles are a normal part of the human experience. Once we are able to say what we are feeling and be heard in a safe environment, the work of repair and healing and growth can begin.
Communication issues can be common in relationships. Attempts to communicate often lead to arguments and couples may find that despite their attempts to change, they always seem to revert to unhealthy patterns of behavior, or even the same argument over and over. Other common issues that arise are over the division of power, broken trust, space, roles and the inability to deeply listen to your partner.
Codependency arises most often in early life as a way to stay connected to your caretakers. In a nutshell, the codependent person cannot be happy unless their partner is happy. The need to focus on someone else’s feelings and needs over your own made sense in early life if you had a parent who struggled with taking care of themselves or being available to meet your needs. Now that you are an adult, these same coping mechanisms no longer serve you or the relationship. A common thread is the shared experience of suffering, with both partners feeling an indispensable reliance on each other.These are common issues, live on a spectrum, and are a welcome subject in your therapy session.
At Expansive we endeavor to view relationships as unique to each partner, and when healthy, an opportunity for expansion. We begin by getting to know each partner and helping both parties listen to each other. From there, central issues such as communication, changing desires, alternative relationships, etc can be addressed.
Relationship issues & codependency
The quality of our relationships has a major influence on our sense of well being and belonging in the world. For some, relationships are too difficult to develop due to a lack of safety and trust stemming from past relational trauma, leading to patterns of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. For others, relationships become unsatisfying over time, and we may find ourselves repeating a similar pattern that leaves us feeling stuck and alone.
Navigating relationships can be very challenging. Past experiences and fears often influence our choice of partners and how we respond to conflict when it arises. While it’s common for couples to feel some shame about relationship issues, most feel relief when they get in the room with a therapist and have the experience of being heard and validated. As therapists, we share that these struggles are a normal part of the human experience. Once we are able to say what we are feeling and be heard in a safe environment, the work of repair and healing and growth can begin.
Communication issues can be common in relationships. Attempts to communicate often lead to arguments and couples may find that despite their attempts to change, they always seem to revert to unhealthy patterns of behavior, or even the same argument over and over. Other common issues that arise are over the division of power, broken trust, space, roles and the inability to deeply listen to your partner.
Codependency arises most often in early life as a way to stay connected to your caretakers. In a nutshell, the codependent person cannot be happy unless their partner is happy. The need to focus on someone else’s feelings and needs over your own made sense in early life if you had a parent who struggled with taking care of themselves or being available to meet your needs. Now that you are an adult, these same coping mechanisms no longer serve you or the relationship. A common thread is the shared experience of suffering, with both partners feeling an indispensable reliance on each other.These are common issues, live on a spectrum, and are a welcome subject in your therapy session.
At Expansive we endeavor to view relationships as unique to each partner, and when healthy, an opportunity for expansion. We begin by getting to know each partner and helping both parties listen to each other. From there, central issues such as communication, changing desires, alternative relationships, etc can be addressed.
gender exploration
Expansive Therapy serves individuals of all gender identities, from nonbinary to transgender to cisgender, and we fully support anyone who has a desire to explore their gender further. So often we get locked into rigid cultural narratives around gender. We have lifetimes of messaging attempting to define us one way or another, but so often the definitions assigned to us don’t feel right inside. We can begin to feel boxed in and stuck with no outlet for our authentic selves, which can lead to symptoms like anxiety and depression.
Many of us come into therapy with deep scars around gender, pervasive fears, and a sense of gender dysphoria, or distressing feelings that our body doesn’t match our internal gender identity. Even the field of psychology places stigma around gender exploration and places it in the realm of disorder with diagnoses like gender identity disorder. It can often feel like there is no safe place to turn when it comes to gender dysphoria.
We want to welcome all of your wounded parts into the therapy space first and foremost. As we acknowledge your experience of gender in the world and work on healing the wounds, we also work on establishing an affirming relationship wherein healing and gender expansion can occur. We seek to create a therapy space that goes beyond the gender binary. We encourage our clients to explore their gender openly, without any pressure to “figure it out.” We aim to create a space that feels open and limitless, where you can bring your full self and try on different identities to see what feels right.
Whether you identify as transgender, cisgender, nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, or are completely unsure, we are here to provide space for your full gender expression and exploration.
gender exploration
Expansive Therapy serves individuals of all gender identities, from nonbinary to transgender to cisgender, and we fully support anyone who has a desire to explore their gender further. So often we get locked into rigid cultural narratives around gender. We have lifetimes of messaging attempting to define us one way or another, but so often the definitions assigned to us don’t feel right inside. We can begin to feel boxed in and stuck with no outlet for our authentic selves, which can lead to symptoms like anxiety and depression.
Many of us come into therapy with deep scars around gender, pervasive fears, and a sense of gender dysphoria, or distressing feelings that our body doesn’t match our internal gender identity. Even the field of psychology places stigma around gender exploration and places it in the realm of disorder with diagnoses like gender identity disorder. It can often feel like there is no safe place to turn when it comes to gender dysphoria.
We want to welcome all of your wounded parts into the therapy space first and foremost. As we acknowledge your experience of gender in the world and work on healing the wounds, we also work on establishing an affirming relationship wherein healing and gender expansion can occur. We seek to create a therapy space that goes beyond the gender binary. We encourage our clients to explore their gender openly, without any pressure to “figure it out.” We aim to create a space that feels open and limitless, where you can bring your full self and try on different identities to see what feels right.
Whether you identify as transgender, cisgender, nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, or are completely unsure, we are here to provide space for your full gender expression and exploration.
gender exploration
Expansive Therapy serves individuals of all gender identities, from nonbinary to transgender to cisgender, and we fully support anyone who has a desire to explore their gender further. So often we get locked into rigid cultural narratives around gender. We have lifetimes of messaging attempting to define us one way or another, but so often the definitions assigned to us don’t feel right inside. We can begin to feel boxed in and stuck with no outlet for our authentic selves, which can lead to symptoms like anxiety and depression.
Many of us come into therapy with deep scars around gender, pervasive fears, and a sense of gender dysphoria, or distressing feelings that our body doesn’t match our internal gender identity. Even the field of psychology places stigma around gender exploration and places it in the realm of disorder with diagnoses like gender identity disorder. It can often feel like there is no safe place to turn when it comes to gender dysphoria.
We want to welcome all of your wounded parts into the therapy space first and foremost. As we acknowledge your experience of gender in the world and work on healing the wounds, we also work on establishing an affirming relationship wherein healing and gender expansion can occur. We seek to create a therapy space that goes beyond the gender binary. We encourage our clients to explore their gender openly, without any pressure to “figure it out.” We aim to create a space that feels open and limitless, where you can bring your full self and try on different identities to see what feels right.
Whether you identify as transgender, cisgender, nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, or are completely unsure, we are here to provide space for your full gender expression and exploration.
gender exploration
Expansive Therapy serves individuals of all gender identities, from nonbinary to transgender to cisgender, and we fully support anyone who has a desire to explore their gender further. So often we get locked into rigid cultural narratives around gender. We have lifetimes of messaging attempting to define us one way or another, but so often the definitions assigned to us don’t feel right inside. We can begin to feel boxed in and stuck with no outlet for our authentic selves, which can lead to symptoms like anxiety and depression.
Many of us come into therapy with deep scars around gender, pervasive fears, and a sense of gender dysphoria, or distressing feelings that our body doesn’t match our internal gender identity. Even the field of psychology places stigma around gender exploration and places it in the realm of disorder with diagnoses like gender identity disorder. It can often feel like there is no safe place to turn when it comes to gender dysphoria.
We want to welcome all of your wounded parts into the therapy space first and foremost. As we acknowledge your experience of gender in the world and work on healing the wounds, we also work on establishing an affirming relationship wherein healing and gender expansion can occur. We seek to create a therapy space that goes beyond the gender binary. We encourage our clients to explore their gender openly, without any pressure to “figure it out.” We aim to create a space that feels open and limitless, where you can bring your full self and try on different identities to see what feels right.
Whether you identify as transgender, cisgender, nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, or are completely unsure, we are here to provide space for your full gender expression and exploration.
sexuality exploration
At Expansive Therapy, we work with people all along the spectrum of sexuality, from gay to bisexual to queer to lesbian to pansexual to straight to kinky to curious and everything in between. We strive to create a sex positive and queer affirming space that allows for curiosity and expansion of your unique sexuality.
We all receive negative messages about sex throughout our lives from every direction. This results in repression of our desires, fantasies, and even our basic sense of sexuality and sexual orientation. This repression and separation through shame can often lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. When we shut down our basic drives for sexual connection, it creates an internal battle that results in distress and withdrawal.
In the therapy space, we invite you to talk about your sexuality openly, and to make conscious all the messaging that you have received around sex throughout your life. This can be a gradual process, and we respect that sexuality is a delicate space for all of us, often with a lot of trauma mixed in.
As we shine light on the negative messages you’ve received, they begin to lose their power. Your sexuality becomes less of a problem in your mind, and from here you can begin to unpack the wounds around your sexuality and open the door to healing. As you begin to heal and create more space for your sexuality, then you can move on to healthy exploration.
Whether you’re looking to explore your desires for kink & BDSM, undo shame around your queer sexual identity, experiment with sex with a different gender, or start engaging in a new type of sex with your current partner, we’re here for you. We do our best to create an affirming space where talking about your sexuality is easy, welcome, and supported.
sexuality exploration
At Expansive Therapy, we work with people all along the spectrum of sexuality, from gay to bisexual to queer to lesbian to pansexual to straight to kinky to curious and everything in between. We strive to create a sex positive and queer affirming space that allows for curiosity and expansion of your unique sexuality.
We all receive negative messages about sex throughout our lives from every direction. This results in repression of our desires, fantasies, and even our basic sense of sexuality and sexual orientation. This repression and separation through shame can often lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. When we shut down our basic drives for sexual connection, it creates an internal battle that results in distress and withdrawal.
In the therapy space, we invite you to talk about your sexuality openly, and to make conscious all the messaging that you have received around sex throughout your life. This can be a gradual process, and we respect that sexuality is a delicate space for all of us, often with a lot of trauma mixed in.
As we shine light on the negative messages you’ve received, they begin to lose their power. Your sexuality becomes less of a problem in your mind, and from here you can begin to unpack the wounds around your sexuality and open the door to healing. As you begin to heal and create more space for your sexuality, then you can move on to healthy exploration.
Whether you’re looking to explore your desires for kink & BDSM, undo shame around your queer sexual identity, experiment with sex with a different gender, or start engaging in a new type of sex with your current partner, we’re here for you. We do our best to create an affirming space where talking about your sexuality is easy, welcome, and supported.
sexuality exploration
At Expansive Therapy, we work with people all along the spectrum of sexuality, from gay to bisexual to queer to lesbian to pansexual to straight to kinky to curious and everything in between. We strive to create a sex positive and queer affirming space that allows for curiosity and expansion of your unique sexuality.
We all receive negative messages about sex throughout our lives from every direction. This results in repression of our desires, fantasies, and even our basic sense of sexuality and sexual orientation. This repression and separation through shame can often lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. When we shut down our basic drives for sexual connection, it creates an internal battle that results in distress and withdrawal.
In the therapy space, we invite you to talk about your sexuality openly, and to make conscious all the messaging that you have received around sex throughout your life. This can be a gradual process, and we respect that sexuality is a delicate space for all of us, often with a lot of trauma mixed in.
As we shine light on the negative messages you’ve received, they begin to lose their power. Your sexuality becomes less of a problem in your mind, and from here you can begin to unpack the wounds around your sexuality and open the door to healing. As you begin to heal and create more space for your sexuality, then you can move on to healthy exploration.
Whether you’re looking to explore your desires for kink & BDSM, undo shame around your queer sexual identity, experiment with sex with a different gender, or start engaging in a new type of sex with your current partner, we’re here for you. We do our best to create an affirming space where talking about your sexuality is easy, welcome, and supported.
sexuality exploration
At Expansive Therapy, we work with people all along the spectrum of sexuality, from gay to bisexual to queer to lesbian to pansexual to straight to kinky to curious and everything in between. We strive to create a sex positive and queer affirming space that allows for curiosity and expansion of your unique sexuality.
We all receive negative messages about sex throughout our lives from every direction. This results in repression of our desires, fantasies, and even our basic sense of sexuality and sexual orientation. This repression and separation through shame can often lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. When we shut down our basic drives for sexual connection, it creates an internal battle that results in distress and withdrawal.
In the therapy space, we invite you to talk about your sexuality openly, and to make conscious all the messaging that you have received around sex throughout your life. This can be a gradual process, and we respect that sexuality is a delicate space for all of us, often with a lot of trauma mixed in.
As we shine light on the negative messages you’ve received, they begin to lose their power. Your sexuality becomes less of a problem in your mind, and from here you can begin to unpack the wounds around your sexuality and open the door to healing. As you begin to heal and create more space for your sexuality, then you can move on to healthy exploration.
Whether you’re looking to explore your desires for kink & BDSM, undo shame around your queer sexual identity, experiment with sex with a different gender, or start engaging in a new type of sex with your current partner, we’re here for you. We do our best to create an affirming space where talking about your sexuality is easy, welcome, and supported.
polyamory & open relationships
Whether you’re considering branching into ethical non monogamy for the first time or well experienced in polyamory and open relationships, we want to create a solid and affirming space for you to explore and work through whatever fears or difficulties you’re experiencing.
As wonderful and exciting as it can be to move beyond traditional relationship structures, it does take work, and we are here to provide the space and help to facilitate that work. Jealousy is a common issue and something that you can expect to feel in a poly or open relationship. Instead of repressing it or judging it as somehow wrong, we invite jealousy into the room, and we always find that it is holding very important information. When worked with effectively, jealousy can be a gateway into our relational traumas and our attachment patterns. Triggering events tie back to experiences that need to be healed, and when that occurs in a safe therapeutic setting, it can lead to a deeper understanding of self and a strengthening of the relationship.
Boundary conversations are also hugely important in alternative relationships. Rules or agreements create an important framework for exploration, and those conversations require vulnerability and patience. Having a therapist in the room to hold the emotional space and facilitate those conversations can make them less daunting and more productive. Just as important as setting the agreements is the ability to adjust and change them as everyone in the relationship shifts and grows.
The ultimate goal of our work with consensual nonmonogamy is to get to a point of compersion, which is a feeling of joy or satisfaction at witnessing your partner seek out other partners for romantic or sexual intimacy. Sure, we might not get all the way there, jealousy and the other messy parts will still show up, but we keep that as a goal and we work hard to establish what is needed for each partner to feel comfortable and secure.
polyamory & open relationships
Whether you’re considering branching into ethical non monogamy for the first time or well experienced in polyamory and open relationships, we want to create a solid and affirming space for you to explore and work through whatever fears or difficulties you’re experiencing.
As wonderful and exciting as it can be to move beyond traditional relationship structures, it does take work, and we are here to provide the space and help to facilitate that work. Jealousy is a common issue and something that you can expect to feel in a poly or open relationship. Instead of repressing it or judging it as somehow wrong, we invite jealousy into the room, and we always find that it is holding very important information. When worked with effectively, jealousy can be a gateway into our relational traumas and our attachment patterns. Triggering events tie back to experiences that need to be healed, and when that occurs in a safe therapeutic setting, it can lead to a deeper understanding of self and a strengthening of the relationship.
Boundary conversations are also hugely important in alternative relationships. Rules or agreements create an important framework for exploration, and those conversations require vulnerability and patience. Having a therapist in the room to hold the emotional space and facilitate those conversations can make them less daunting and more productive. Just as important as setting the agreements is the ability to adjust and change them as everyone in the relationship shifts and grows.
The ultimate goal of our work with consensual nonmonogamy is to get to a point of compersion, which is a feeling of joy or satisfaction at witnessing your partner seek out other partners for romantic or sexual intimacy. Sure, we might not get all the way there, jealousy and the other messy parts will still show up, but we keep that as a goal and we work hard to establish what is needed for each partner to feel comfortable and secure.
polyamory & open relationships
Whether you’re considering branching into ethical non monogamy for the first time or well experienced in polyamory and open relationships, we want to create a solid and affirming space for you to explore and work through whatever fears or difficulties you’re experiencing.
As wonderful and exciting as it can be to move beyond traditional relationship structures, it does take work, and we are here to provide the space and help to facilitate that work. Jealousy is a common issue and something that you can expect to feel in a poly or open relationship. Instead of repressing it or judging it as somehow wrong, we invite jealousy into the room, and we always find that it is holding very important information. When worked with effectively, jealousy can be a gateway into our relational traumas and our attachment patterns. Triggering events tie back to experiences that need to be healed, and when that occurs in a safe therapeutic setting, it can lead to a deeper understanding of self and a strengthening of the relationship.
Boundary conversations are also hugely important in alternative relationships. Rules or agreements create an important framework for exploration, and those conversations require vulnerability and patience. Having a therapist in the room to hold the emotional space and facilitate those conversations can make them less daunting and more productive. Just as important as setting the agreements is the ability to adjust and change them as everyone in the relationship shifts and grows.
The ultimate goal of our work with consensual nonmonogamy is to get to a point of compersion, which is a feeling of joy or satisfaction at witnessing your partner seek out other partners for romantic or sexual intimacy. Sure, we might not get all the way there, jealousy and the other messy parts will still show up, but we keep that as a goal and we work hard to establish what is needed for each partner to feel comfortable and secure.
polyamory & open relationships
Whether you’re considering branching into ethical non monogamy for the first time or well experienced in polyamory and open relationships, we want to create a solid and affirming space for you to explore and work through whatever fears or difficulties you’re experiencing.
As wonderful and exciting as it can be to move beyond traditional relationship structures, it does take work, and we are here to provide the space and help to facilitate that work. Jealousy is a common issue and something that you can expect to feel in a poly or open relationship. Instead of repressing it or judging it as somehow wrong, we invite jealousy into the room, and we always find that it is holding very important information. When worked with effectively, jealousy can be a gateway into our relational traumas and our attachment patterns. Triggering events tie back to experiences that need to be healed, and when that occurs in a safe therapeutic setting, it can lead to a deeper understanding of self and a strengthening of the relationship.
Boundary conversations are also hugely important in alternative relationships. Rules or agreements create an important framework for exploration, and those conversations require vulnerability and patience. Having a therapist in the room to hold the emotional space and facilitate those conversations can make them less daunting and more productive. Just as important as setting the agreements is the ability to adjust and change them as everyone in the relationship shifts and grows.
The ultimate goal of our work with consensual nonmonogamy is to get to a point of compersion, which is a feeling of joy or satisfaction at witnessing your partner seek out other partners for romantic or sexual intimacy. Sure, we might not get all the way there, jealousy and the other messy parts will still show up, but we keep that as a goal and we work hard to establish what is needed for each partner to feel comfortable and secure.
self esteem & shame
Shame is a part of life for all of us and no one has perfect self esteem, but shame can reach a level of intensity and pervasiveness where it becomes toxic, and self esteem can diminish to such an extent that it makes nearly all of life seem overwhelming.
Shame is that part of us that says something is wrong with us, that hot feeling of embarrassment that makes our eyes point downward and cuts us off from others. Toxic shame blocks us from forming meaningful relationships because it instills such negative beliefs about ourselves that opening up and letting people in becomes too dangerous. We live in a culture where shame based messages are constant. We are incessantly being told that we are not living up to some ideal (straight, white, thin, rich, young, pretty etc), so shame becomes deeply rooted and toxic for many of us, taking us away from love, intimacy, and community instead of helping us to preserve those things.
The LGBTQ community in particular is vulnerable to shame and low self esteem because we all grew up in a heteronormative world that consistently told us that there was something wrong with us. The messages not only came from the broader culture, but usually from our caretakers as well. These shame based messages become engrained at a very early age and often carry with us into adulthood, even past the point of coming out. Queer people often have a strong inner critic, making us feel like nothing is ever good enough. To seek acceptance and love we often become perfectionists, which doesn’t actually get us what we need because it is rooted in shame. We develop imposter syndrome and the cycle persists, leading to poor self esteem and low self confidence.
It is never too late to begin working on the shame you are experiencing and improving your feelings about yourself. The first step toward healing is opening up within a safe and supportive relationship. In therapy, we gently invite the inner critic into the room, to explore where it came from and how it is trying to help you to survive. The more you shine light on shame, the more power it loses. When you are able to share your shame vulnerably within a trusting relationship, it begins to give way to love and compassion. You learn to speak to yourself in the way you would to a friend or someone you love. Gradually, you begin to build a solid foundation of self love, and as your relationship with yourself improves, so do your relationships with others.
self esteem & shame
Shame is a part of life for all of us and no one has perfect self esteem, but shame can reach a level of intensity and pervasiveness where it becomes toxic, and self esteem can diminish to such an extent that it makes nearly all of life seem overwhelming.
Shame is that part of us that says something is wrong with us, that hot feeling of embarrassment that makes our eyes point downward and cuts us off from others. Toxic shame blocks us from forming meaningful relationships because it instills such negative beliefs about ourselves that opening up and letting people in becomes too dangerous. We live in a culture where shame based messages are constant. We are incessantly being told that we are not living up to some ideal (straight, white, thin, rich, young, pretty etc), so shame becomes deeply rooted and toxic for many of us, taking us away from love, intimacy, and community instead of helping us to preserve those things.
The LGBTQ community in particular is vulnerable to shame and low self esteem because we all grew up in a heteronormative world that consistently told us that there was something wrong with us. The messages not only came from the broader culture, but usually from our caretakers as well. These shame based messages become engrained at a very early age and often carry with us into adulthood, even past the point of coming out. Queer people often have a strong inner critic, making us feel like nothing is ever good enough. To seek acceptance and love we often become perfectionists, which doesn’t actually get us what we need because it is rooted in shame. We develop imposter syndrome and the cycle persists, leading to poor self esteem and low self confidence.
It is never too late to begin working on the shame you are experiencing and improving your feelings about yourself. The first step toward healing is opening up within a safe and supportive relationship. In therapy, we gently invite the inner critic into the room, to explore where it came from and how it is trying to help you to survive. The more you shine light on shame, the more power it loses. When you are able to share your shame vulnerably within a trusting relationship, it begins to give way to love and compassion. You learn to speak to yourself in the way you would to a friend or someone you love. Gradually, you begin to build a solid foundation of self love, and as your relationship with yourself improves, so do your relationships with others.
self esteem & shame
Shame is a part of life for all of us and no one has perfect self esteem, but shame can reach a level of intensity and pervasiveness where it becomes toxic, and self esteem can diminish to such an extent that it makes nearly all of life seem overwhelming.
Shame is that part of us that says something is wrong with us, that hot feeling of embarrassment that makes our eyes point downward and cuts us off from others. Toxic shame blocks us from forming meaningful relationships because it instills such negative beliefs about ourselves that opening up and letting people in becomes too dangerous. We live in a culture where shame based messages are constant. We are incessantly being told that we are not living up to some ideal (straight, white, thin, rich, young, pretty etc), so shame becomes deeply rooted and toxic for many of us, taking us away from love, intimacy, and community instead of helping us to preserve those things.
The LGBTQ community in particular is vulnerable to shame and low self esteem because we all grew up in a heteronormative world that consistently told us that there was something wrong with us. The messages not only came from the broader culture, but usually from our caretakers as well. These shame based messages become engrained at a very early age and often carry with us into adulthood, even past the point of coming out. Queer people often have a strong inner critic, making us feel like nothing is ever good enough. To seek acceptance and love we often become perfectionists, which doesn’t actually get us what we need because it is rooted in shame. We develop imposter syndrome and the cycle persists, leading to poor self esteem and low self confidence.
It is never too late to begin working on the shame you are experiencing and improving your feelings about yourself. The first step toward healing is opening up within a safe and supportive relationship. In therapy, we gently invite the inner critic into the room, to explore where it came from and how it is trying to help you to survive. The more you shine light on shame, the more power it loses. When you are able to share your shame vulnerably within a trusting relationship, it begins to give way to love and compassion. You learn to speak to yourself in the way you would to a friend or someone you love. Gradually, you begin to build a solid foundation of self love, and as your relationship with yourself improves, so do your relationships with others.
self esteem & shame
Shame is a part of life for all of us and no one has perfect self esteem, but shame can reach a level of intensity and pervasiveness where it becomes toxic, and self esteem can diminish to such an extent that it makes nearly all of life seem overwhelming.
Shame is that part of us that says something is wrong with us, that hot feeling of embarrassment that makes our eyes point downward and cuts us off from others. Toxic shame blocks us from forming meaningful relationships because it instills such negative beliefs about ourselves that opening up and letting people in becomes too dangerous. We live in a culture where shame based messages are constant. We are incessantly being told that we are not living up to some ideal (straight, white, thin, rich, young, pretty etc), so shame becomes deeply rooted and toxic for many of us, taking us away from love, intimacy, and community instead of helping us to preserve those things.
The LGBTQ community in particular is vulnerable to shame and low self esteem because we all grew up in a heteronormative world that consistently told us that there was something wrong with us. The messages not only came from the broader culture, but usually from our caretakers as well. These shame based messages become engrained at a very early age and often carry with us into adulthood, even past the point of coming out. Queer people often have a strong inner critic, making us feel like nothing is ever good enough. To seek acceptance and love we often become perfectionists, which doesn’t actually get us what we need because it is rooted in shame. We develop imposter syndrome and the cycle persists, leading to poor self esteem and low self confidence.
It is never too late to begin working on the shame you are experiencing and improving your feelings about yourself. The first step toward healing is opening up within a safe and supportive relationship. In therapy, we gently invite the inner critic into the room, to explore where it came from and how it is trying to help you to survive. The more you shine light on shame, the more power it loses. When you are able to share your shame vulnerably within a trusting relationship, it begins to give way to love and compassion. You learn to speak to yourself in the way you would to a friend or someone you love. Gradually, you begin to build a solid foundation of self love, and as your relationship with yourself improves, so do your relationships with others.
substance use & addiction
The experience of being human, of suffering loss and uncertaintly, often result in us using something or someone to instantly feel better. When we use it often enough, we can become addicted. But the substance or person or action taken to alleviate our discomfort does not solve our problem. And in fact, it leaves us feeling more and more depleted. After an addiction has taken hold, shame arises from the need to hide our actions and feelings, making it harder and harder to connect genuinely and authentically with others.
If addiction is ultimately isolating, then connection is ultimately healing. Healing addictive patterns involves connecting with both self and others. Oftentimes the substance is used in order to not feel certain emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. In the therapy space we can slowly unpack the feelings that you are running from.
Many individuals in the queer community face unique challenges that can contribute to higher rates of substance abuse. Emotional struggles, often rooted in non-acceptance from families, create feelings of isolation, fear, and shame. These emotional burdens can lead to the development of addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism. The pressure to conform and excel, particularly in the face of workplace challenges or discrimination, can be emotionally taxing. For those who haven't come out, the experience of living a double life may evoke loneliness and anxiety. As therapists we approach these challenges with empathy and understanding, recognizing the emotional complexities that individuals navigate.
The impact of addiction and substance abuse reaches beyond the person with the addiction. When someone you care about is struggling with addiction you might find yourself in a codependent relationship, with your desire for their sobriety causing you to neglect your own needs and inadvertently enable their behavior. The desperation to help a loved one can leave you feeling helpless, as life becomes a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.
A compassionate therapist can guide you in exploring the roots of substance abuse and navigating the emotional journey of recovery. Therapy isn't just for individuals directly facing substance abuse; it's also a valuable resource for those supporting a loved one on their journey. If you find yourself in the role of supporting someone facing substance abuse, therapy can help you establish boundaries and address your own needs in this challenging situation.
substance use & addiction
The experience of being human, of suffering loss and uncertaintly, often result in us using something or someone to instantly feel better. When we use it often enough, we can become addicted. But the substance or person or action taken to alleviate our discomfort does not solve our problem. And in fact, it leaves us feeling more and more depleted. After an addiction has taken hold, shame arises from the need to hide our actions and feelings, making it harder and harder to connect genuinely and authentically with others.
If addiction is ultimately isolating, then connection is ultimately healing. Healing addictive patterns involves connecting with both self and others. Oftentimes the substance is used in order to not feel certain emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. In the therapy space we can slowly unpack the feelings that you are running from.
Many individuals in the queer community face unique challenges that can contribute to higher rates of substance abuse. Emotional struggles, often rooted in non-acceptance from families, create feelings of isolation, fear, and shame. These emotional burdens can lead to the development of addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism. The pressure to conform and excel, particularly in the face of workplace challenges or discrimination, can be emotionally taxing. For those who haven't come out, the experience of living a double life may evoke loneliness and anxiety. As therapists we approach these challenges with empathy and understanding, recognizing the emotional complexities that individuals navigate.
The impact of addiction and substance abuse reaches beyond the person with the addiction. When someone you care about is struggling with addiction you might find yourself in a codependent relationship, with your desire for their sobriety causing you to neglect your own needs and inadvertently enable their behavior. The desperation to help a loved one can leave you feeling helpless, as life becomes a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.
A compassionate therapist can guide you in exploring the roots of substance abuse and navigating the emotional journey of recovery. Therapy isn't just for individuals directly facing substance abuse; it's also a valuable resource for those supporting a loved one on their journey. If you find yourself in the role of supporting someone facing substance abuse, therapy can help you establish boundaries and address your own needs in this challenging situation.
substance use & addiction
The experience of being human, of suffering loss and uncertaintly, often result in us using something or someone to instantly feel better. When we use it often enough, we can become addicted. But the substance or person or action taken to alleviate our discomfort does not solve our problem. And in fact, it leaves us feeling more and more depleted. After an addiction has taken hold, shame arises from the need to hide our actions and feelings, making it harder and harder to connect genuinely and authentically with others.
If addiction is ultimately isolating, then connection is ultimately healing. Healing addictive patterns involves connecting with both self and others. Oftentimes the substance is used in order to not feel certain emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. In the therapy space we can slowly unpack the feelings that you are running from.
Many individuals in the queer community face unique challenges that can contribute to higher rates of substance abuse. Emotional struggles, often rooted in non-acceptance from families, create feelings of isolation, fear, and shame. These emotional burdens can lead to the development of addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism. The pressure to conform and excel, particularly in the face of workplace challenges or discrimination, can be emotionally taxing. For those who haven't come out, the experience of living a double life may evoke loneliness and anxiety. As therapists we approach these challenges with empathy and understanding, recognizing the emotional complexities that individuals navigate.
The impact of addiction and substance abuse reaches beyond the person with the addiction. When someone you care about is struggling with addiction you might find yourself in a codependent relationship, with your desire for their sobriety causing you to neglect your own needs and inadvertently enable their behavior. The desperation to help a loved one can leave you feeling helpless, as life becomes a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.
A compassionate therapist can guide you in exploring the roots of substance abuse and navigating the emotional journey of recovery. Therapy isn't just for individuals directly facing substance abuse; it's also a valuable resource for those supporting a loved one on their journey. If you find yourself in the role of supporting someone facing substance abuse, therapy can help you establish boundaries and address your own needs in this challenging situation.
substance Use & addiction
The experience of being human, of suffering loss and uncertaintly, often result in us using something or someone to instantly feel better. When we use it often enough, we can become addicted. But the substance or person or action taken to alleviate our discomfort does not solve our problem. And in fact, it leaves us feeling more and more depleted. After an addiction has taken hold, shame arises from the need to hide our actions and feelings, making it harder and harder to connect genuinely and authentically with others.
If addiction is ultimately isolating, then connection is ultimately healing. Healing addictive patterns involves connecting with both self and others. Oftentimes the substance is used in order to not feel certain emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. In the therapy space we can slowly unpack the feelings that you are running from.
Many individuals in the queer community face unique challenges that can contribute to higher rates of substance abuse. Emotional struggles, often rooted in non-acceptance from families, create feelings of isolation, fear, and shame. These emotional burdens can lead to the development of addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism. The pressure to conform and excel, particularly in the face of workplace challenges or discrimination, can be emotionally taxing. For those who haven't come out, the experience of living a double life may evoke loneliness and anxiety. As therapists we approach these challenges with empathy and understanding, recognizing the emotional complexities that individuals navigate.
The impact of addiction and substance abuse reaches beyond the person with the addiction. When someone you care about is struggling with addiction you might find yourself in a codependent relationship, with your desire for their sobriety causing you to neglect your own needs and inadvertently enable their behavior. The desperation to help a loved one can leave you feeling helpless, as life becomes a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.
A compassionate therapist can guide you in exploring the roots of substance abuse and navigating the emotional journey of recovery. Therapy isn't just for individuals directly facing substance abuse; it's also a valuable resource for those supporting a loved one on their journey. If you find yourself in the role of supporting someone facing substance abuse, therapy can help you establish boundaries and address your own needs in this challenging situation.
Stay in the Know
Join our newsletter to get mental health tips and promotional offers delivered to you weekly.
Stay in the Know
Join our newsletter to get mental health tips and promotional offers delivered to you weekly.
sex & intimacy issues
As children we are born with a natural curiosity for all of our physical experiences. Over the course of our lives, our relationship to our bodies and our sexuality can be easily damaged by cultural norms, abusive others, religion, and other institutions that give messages about how to act and feel. This can lead to sex and intimacy issues, fear of intimacy, and sometimes an entire lack of intimacy in our lives.
In order to be intimate and freely express sexual feelings with another, we need to feel safe and accepted. What can often influence our ability to be close to others is our attachment style, whether anxious or avoidant or somewhere in between. We can find it frustrating, embarrassing, and disheartening to fully connect with our sexuality in the presence of another. Sexual issues like performance anxiety and sexual dysfunction are common and can often lead to sexual withdrawal and isolation.
We all have a shadow self as well, parts of us that are hidden from our ordinary view of ourselves. We may find ourselves being attracted to situations or pornography that confuses us. Sometimes we just feel that our sexual selves have gone on permanent vacation when we are in a long term relationship.
The healing journey of our sexual self requires patience and great care. At Expansive we start with creating a safe space to explore your personal stories, the experiences that were wounding, and ultimately, your desires for yourself. This can take place within a relationship, but always begin with the self. We do not believe there are rules or any right way to express or experience sexuality, but rather, we strive to create the space for every individual’s unique expression of desire and connection.
sex & intimacy issues
As children we are born with a natural curiosity for all of our physical experiences. Over the course of our lives, our relationship to our bodies and our sexuality can be easily damaged by cultural norms, abusive others, religion, and other institutions that give messages about how to act and feel. This can lead to sex and intimacy issues, fear of intimacy, and sometimes an entire lack of intimacy in our lives.
In order to be intimate and freely express sexual feelings with another, we need to feel safe and accepted. What can often influence our ability to be close to others is our attachment style, whether anxious or avoidant or somewhere in between. We can find it frustrating, embarrassing, and disheartening to fully connect with our sexuality in the presence of another. Sexual issues like performance anxiety and sexual dysfunction are common and can often lead to sexual withdrawal and isolation.
We all have a shadow self as well, parts of us that are hidden from our ordinary view of ourselves. We may find ourselves being attracted to situations or pornography that confuses us. Sometimes we just feel that our sexual selves have gone on permanent vacation when we are in a long term relationship.
The healing journey of our sexual self requires patience and great care. At Expansive we start with creating a safe space to explore your personal stories, the experiences that were wounding, and ultimately, your desires for yourself. This can take place within a relationship, but always begin with the self. We do not believe there are rules or any right way to express or experience sexuality, but rather, we strive to create the space for every individual’s unique expression of desire and connection.
sex & intimacy issues
As children we are born with a natural curiosity for all of our physical experiences. Over the course of our lives, our relationship to our bodies and our sexuality can be easily damaged by cultural norms, abusive others, religion, and other institutions that give messages about how to act and feel. This can lead to sex and intimacy issues, fear of intimacy, and sometimes an entire lack of intimacy in our lives.
In order to be intimate and freely express sexual feelings with another, we need to feel safe and accepted. What can often influence our ability to be close to others is our attachment style, whether anxious or avoidant or somewhere in between. We can find it frustrating, embarrassing, and disheartening to fully connect with our sexuality in the presence of another. Sexual issues like performance anxiety and sexual dysfunction are common and can often lead to sexual withdrawal and isolation.
We all have a shadow self as well, parts of us that are hidden from our ordinary view of ourselves. We may find ourselves being attracted to situations or pornography that confuses us. Sometimes we just feel that our sexual selves have gone on permanent vacation when we are in a long term relationship.
The healing journey of our sexual self requires patience and great care. At Expansive we start with creating a safe space to explore your personal stories, the experiences that were wounding, and ultimately, your desires for yourself. This can take place within a relationship, but always begin with the self. We do not believe there are rules or any right way to express or experience sexuality, but rather, we strive to create the space for every individual’s unique expression of desire and connection.
sex & intimacy issues
As children we are born with a natural curiosity for all of our physical experiences. Over the course of our lives, our relationship to our bodies and our sexuality can be easily damaged by cultural norms, abusive others, religion, and other institutions that give messages about how to act and feel. This can lead to sex and intimacy issues, fear of intimacy, and sometimes an entire lack of intimacy in our lives.
In order to be intimate and freely express sexual feelings with another, we need to feel safe and accepted. What can often influence our ability to be close to others is our attachment style, whether anxious or avoidant or somewhere in between. We can find it frustrating, embarrassing, and disheartening to fully connect with our sexuality in the presence of another. Sexual issues like performance anxiety and sexual dysfunction are common and can often lead to sexual withdrawal and isolation.
We all have a shadow self as well, parts of us that are hidden from our ordinary view of ourselves. We may find ourselves being attracted to situations or pornography that confuses us. Sometimes we just feel that our sexual selves have gone on permanent vacation when we are in a long term relationship.
The healing journey of our sexual self requires patience and great care. At Expansive we start with creating a safe space to explore your personal stories, the experiences that were wounding, and ultimately, your desires for yourself. This can take place within a relationship, but always begin with the self. We do not believe there are rules or any right way to express or experience sexuality, but rather, we strive to create the space for every individual’s unique expression of desire and connection.
& New York
352 7th Ave, Suite 1201
New York NY 10001
In California
606 N Larchmont Blvd, 4 B, Los Angeles, CA 90004
Limited in-person availability:
Stay in the Know
Join our newsletter to get mental health tips and promotional offers delivered to you weekly.
© 2023 EXPANSIVE THERAPY | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
back to top