Suddenly, we are virtual.

What a shift it was, when the pandemic hit and forced us all to quickly adapt to Zoom therapy sessions. I was grateful that we could continue our work nearly uninterrupted.  This turn of events changed the therapy world forever, with its easy ‘session from anywhere’ capability, both for the clients and for the therapists.  

But with each possibility of being able to de-mask and get IRL again, I rejoiced.  I missed being with my clients, and I missed having the delineation between work and life space. 

Let’s get in a room together. 

Having just completed our new LA offices, I’m as excited as I was when we first opened our offices in NY.  Do I think sessions are better in person? Everyone has their own, extremely valid, opinion.  Here is mine.  

As humans we do not begin and end at our skin.  If you took a microscope and zoomed in on a body, or anything else for that matter, you would find no there there.  No solid thing. Instead, just a collection of vibrating tiny particles. When we share space with someone, however briefly, we are sharing and exchanging particles.  Our energy and vibrations are affecting each other.  We are not isolated beings meant to be alone all the time, but instead, giving to and receiving from others.

Body language?  Of course seeing more than the head and shoulders is valuable.  Seeing every choice another person makes as they leave their resting place and commute to the session is important.  How about that commute time?  Most would argue that the single best reason for online therapy is the saving of time.

But consider this.

One of the beautiful healing components of therapy is the carving out of time to spend deeply with oneself.  So for those 27 or 32 minutes of the commute, you are in the activity of going to your session.  Not only is this an act of love from you to you, but it’s also a space prone to thinking about the self.  What will I talk about today?  Will I brave the difficult conversation?  Ugh, I’m uncomfortable.  The same goes for the commute back home.  You haven’t quickly switched over to your email or another zoom, but you have space.  What took place in my session?  How do I feel after I said that?  After my therapist validated my feelings?  Those thoughts, given the space and time, make up what we call integration.  The emotions and thoughts filter down through your body, and if you allow this to happen, it is a good deal of the healing process itself.  

The last point I’ll make is this.  Most of our wounding was done in relation to another human.  They smothered us, abandoned us, didn’t understand us.  What we call the reparative experience can certainly happen in a Zoom session, but can have a more visceral feeling in person.  Being wounded in relationship calls for healing in a relationship.

In our ever expanding technological world, we are still people who need to be with other people. Forging deep bonds built from vulnerability and trust make life meaningful.

If you live in NY or LA and you are interested in in-person sessions, please reach out.  We’d love to hear from you.