Therapy for LAT Relationships: Support for Couples Living Apart Together

LAT relationships—short for Living Apart Together—are a growing relationship model where couples maintain a committed romantic partnership while living in separate homes. Whether by choice or necessity, LAT relationships can offer a unique blend of independence and intimacy. At Expansive Therapy, we offer therapy for LAT couples, helping partners navigate the benefits and challenges of this evolving dynamic.

What Is a LAT Relationship?

A Living Apart Together (LAT) relationship refers to couples who are emotionally and romantically connected but live in different households. This is not the same as long-distance dating—LAT partners may live in the same city or even the same neighborhood, but intentionally maintain separate residences.

Reasons couples choose LAT relationships include:

• A desire for autonomy and personal space

• Work or academic commitments in different locations

• Caregiving responsibilities to family or children

• Previous difficult experiences with cohabitation

• Financial, legal, or housing limitations

LAT relationships can be long-term or temporary, and they vary widely in structure and intention.

Why LAT Relationships Are Becoming More Common

The concept of love and commitment is evolving. Many individuals and couples are moving away from traditional expectations of cohabitation as a marker of serious commitment. LAT relationships offer flexibility, and in many cases, a healthier balance of individuality and connection.

This arrangement can be particularly appealing to:

• Individuals who value personal routine, privacy, or space

• Partners healing from trauma or burnout

• Couples navigating complex life stages or transitions

• People in urban areas where housing is expensive or limited

LAT Relationships in the LGBTQ Community

While LAT relationships are becoming more mainstream, they tend to be more common among LGBTQ individuals and couples. There are several reasons for this:

• Safety and privacy: Not all LGBTQ individuals have access to affirming housing or communities.

• Autonomy after trauma: Some may prefer emotional closeness without sharing physical space, especially after negative past experiences.

• Non-traditional values: Many LGBTQ people question or redefine societal norms, including the expectation to live together.

• Creative or career independence: Maintaining separate households may support personal growth or professional identity.

While these are not exclusive to LGBTQ individuals, therapy that understands this context can be especially helpful for those navigating both relational and social complexities.

Challenges of LAT Relationships

While LAT relationships can be healthy and fulfilling, they are not without challenges. Couples may struggle with:

• Misaligned expectations around time, space, or communication

• Feelings of distance or disconnection

• External pressure from family or friends to conform to traditional models

• Uncertainty about the future, such as whether or when to live together

• Financial planning and logistics of maintaining two households

Without clear communication and mutual understanding, these issues can create tension or conflict over time.

How Therapy Supports LAT Couples

Therapy offers a safe and structured environment to explore the complexities of living apart together. At Expansive Therapy, we work with couples to:

• Improve communication and conflict resolution

• Clarify and align on expectations and boundaries

• Deepen emotional intimacy, even across separate spaces

• Address any underlying attachment patterns or insecurities

• Plan for the future, whether that means continuing LAT, cohabiting, or redefining the relationship

  
  

Our therapists use evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, and narrative frameworks to support couples of all kinds.

Every Relationship Is Unique

There’s no one-size-fits-all model for love. LAT relationships can be just as strong, connected, and committed as traditional cohabiting partnerships. Whether you’ve been living apart for years or are just exploring this model, therapy can help you build a relationship that works for both of you.

Start Therapy for Your LAT Relationship

If you're in a Living Apart Together relationship and looking to deepen your connection, address challenges, or simply build stronger communication, we’re here to support you.

Reach out to Expansive Therapy today to book a session or schedule a free consultation.