If you’re thinking about opening your relationship, it’s important to protect yourself from negative cultural messaging and take comfort in knowing that there is a lot of research out there that shows that open relationships are just as healthy and satisfying as conventional, monogamous relationships, and in some cases more so. In this article, we'll go over some of the biggest benefits of opening up.

The important thing to remember when reviewing these strengths is that each of them takes work and commitment. Healthy open relationships don’t come easy and require a great deal of courage and vulnerability to form a strong enough foundation for sexual exploration.

Let's start with the basics:

What is an open relationship? 

An open relationship is a consensual, intimate partnership in which individuals mutually agree to allow for sexual connections with others outside of the primary partnership. Unlike traditional monogamous relationships, where exclusivity is typically expected, open relationships embrace the idea of physical intimacy with multiple partners, while maintaining transparency, communication, and respect within the primary relationship. The boundaries and rules of open relationships vary widely and are typically negotiated and agreed upon by all parties involved. This relationship structure prioritizes autonomy, honesty, and trust, allowing individuals to explore their desires and maintain a sense of independence while still nurturing the primary partnership.

5 Benefits of Opening Up

1. Enhanced Communication and Trust

Open relationships necessitate a high degree of communication and negotiation regarding desires, boundaries, and expectations. These conversations are hard, but yield positive results when done with vulnerability and respect. Studies, such as those conducted by Moors et al. (2017) and Conley et al. (2013), show a positive correlation between open communication and relationship satisfaction among consensually non-monogamous couples. Such transparency fosters trust and intimacy, reinforcing the emotional bond between partners and mitigating the potential for jealousy and insecurity.

2. Opportunity for Personal Growth and Exploration

The autonomy in open relationships, forged through communication vulnerability and trust, affords individuals the freedom to explore diverse connections and facets of their identities. Research by Hoff et al. (2018) and Sheff (2014) suggests that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships often report greater self-awareness, personal growth, and sexual satisfaction compared to their monogamous counterparts. This journey of self-discovery can lead to enhanced emotional resilience and a deeper understanding of one's relational needs and desires. In other words, the more relational experiences we have, the more we learn about ourselves, what we want, and how we show up in relationship.

3. Relational Creativity

Open relationships prompt couples to critically examine and negotiate relationship norms, allowing for a more flexible and adaptive approach to partnership. In other words, people in open relationships break free from societal expectations and therefore get more creative in their relationships and are able to set up a unique dynamic that works for them instead of a prescribed, traditional dynamic based on gender, age etc. 

Empirical studies, including those by Haupert et al. (2016) and Moors et al. (2017), indicate that couples who engage in explicit negotiation of relationship agreements experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction and stability. By redefining norms in alignment with their values and aspirations, individuals cultivate a relationship dynamic characterized by authenticity and mutual respect.

4. Strengthened Emotional Resilience

Opening up a relationship requires a lot of emotional conversations, and the more that you can successfully navigate that vulnerable emotional space with your partner, the more resilience you build up. The complexities of open relationships require a robust foundation of emotional resilience and communication skills. Research by Haupert et al. (2016) and Hoff et al. (2018) highlights the positive association between consensual non-monogamy and emotional intimacy, suggesting that confronting challenges together can strengthen the bond between partners. This shared journey fosters resilience, empathy, and a deeper appreciation for the complexities of human connection.

5. Cultivation of Compersion and Emotional Well-being

Compersion, the experience of joy and fulfillment derived from witnessing a partner's happiness with others, is a central tenet of alternative relationships. Studies by Mogilski and Welling (2017) and Moors et al. (2017) suggest that individuals who embrace compersion report higher levels of relationship satisfaction, emotional connection, and overall well-being. This emotional generosity and abundance foster a sense of community and mutual support within the relationship, enriching the experience of love and intimacy.

But let’s be real, you’re not always going to feel compersion when your partner is engaging in sex with someone else. Other, more complicated emotions will come up, but if you’ve built a strong foundation where those emotions can be really heard and worked through, then you will continue to increase your emotional well-being and more compersion may emerge with time. 

Open relationships can lead to tremendous personal and relational growth when done right, but opening up doesn't indicate relational health and there are plenty of toxic open relationships out there. A successful open relationship takes a commitment to doing the hard work and showing up for each other when complicated emotions arise. It means having explicit conversations and making respectful agreements, while also recognizing that people change and agreements will need to be revisited and renegotiated.

Whether you’re just starting to explore the possibility of opening up, or in a well established open relationship, it’s important to ask yourself how strong the emotional foundation of your relationship is.  If your partner has sex with someone else, and that brings up a certain emotion, no matter how irrational or petty, do you feel comfortable sharing that emotion with your partner? Or does it seem like there is no space for that particular part of you? If you’re finding that your foundation isn’t strong enough, or that you’re wanting to take it to the next level in order to tap into some of these benefits, therapy can be a great place to start.