What is the one thing you can’t talk about in therapy?
Some things are so hard to talk about. Maybe there are things that don’t feel good inside, but that you can’t imagine ever sharing. Even though our practice is queer affirming with a focus on acceptance of all the parts of ourselves, we still come across the difficulty in talking about certain things. You are not alone.
Things we are ashamed of.
Things we are sure that we will be judged for.
We are convinced on some level that at least part of us is unloveable.
It’s not uncommon for clients to mention a concern in their intake form, but be unable to bring it up in their session. This makes sense. If we are so sure that this part of us is unloveable, then we would assume that others will judge us the way we judge ourselves. (This is called projection).
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In my own practice, when a client reveals something that is difficult for them, it does several things. First, it opens my heart. I can feel the courage that it takes to say the difficult things. Second, a trust is born in the room, one in which deep work can now take place. Third, the client is actually getting what they came for, which is healing, and oftentimes, developing self love and acceptance.
What I don’t feel is judgement. If a client opens up about something difficult, my focus and feelings are with the client’s hurting parts. That’s my job.
We can’t change a thing before we can sit with it. So in saying the unmentionable thing we can start to sit with it together in the session and begin to cultivate compassion.
Compassion enables all things to shift. Love makes change possible.
I want you to consider bringing the unmentionable thing to therapy in order to give yourself the gift of being fully accepted by your therapist, and eventually begin to feel that acceptance for yourself too.
In my own practice, when a client reveals something that is difficult for them, it does several things. First, it opens my heart. I can feel the courage that it takes to say the difficult things. Second, a trust is born in the room, one in which deep work can now take place. Third, the client is actually getting what they came for, which is healing, and oftentimes, developing self love and acceptance.
What I don’t feel is judgement. If a client opens up about something difficult, my focus and feelings are with the client’s hurting parts. That’s my job.
We can’t change a thing before we can sit with it. So in saying the unmentionable thing we can start to sit with it together in the session and begin to cultivate compassion.
Compassion enables all things to shift. Love makes change possible.
I want you to consider bringing the unmentionable thing to therapy in order to give yourself the gift of being fully accepted by your therapist, and eventually begin to feel that acceptance for yourself too.
Want more content like this?
Join our mailing list
Want more content like this?
Join our mailing list
Want more content like this?
Join our mailing list
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