Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling small, invisible, or subtly insulted—but couldn’t quite explain why? If you’re LGBTQ+, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced microaggressions: the everyday slights, jabs, or “offhand” comments that carry deep emotional weight.

At Expansive Therapy, we offer LGBTQ+ affirming therapy for clients across New York and California. Many of our clients come to us not just to explore identity—but to heal from the quiet, cumulative toll of being misunderstood or minimized in their daily lives.

What Are LGBTQ+ Microaggressions?

Microaggressions are subtle, often unintentional, comments or behaviors that communicate bias, invalidation, or othering. They might be phrased as “jokes,” backhanded compliments, or ignorant questions—but they leave a mark.

Examples of LGBTQ+ microaggressions include:

• “I have a gay friend! You two would be perfect together.”

• “You don’t look gay.”

• "I just love gay people."

• “I totally support the LGBTQ+ community… but do you have to be so open about it?”

• Using the wrong pronouns repeatedly—even after being corrected

• Assuming everyone is straight or cisgender by default

• Assuming children will turn out straight and cisgender.

Even when not overtly hostile, microaggressions can feel like death by a thousand cuts—especially when they happen regularly in families, schools, workplaces, or healthcare settings.

The Real Impact: It’s Not Just in Your Head

You may have been told to “brush it off” or “don’t be so sensitive.” But scientific research confirms: microaggressions have serious psychological consequences.

• According to Dr. Ilan Meyer’s Minority Stress Model (2003), LGBTQ+ individuals experience chronic stress from everyday discrimination, which contributes to higher rates of anxiety and depression.

• Dr. Kevin Nadal’s research (2011) shows that microaggressions correlate with lower self-esteem, increased psychological distress, and greater feelings of isolation.

• LGBTQ+ youth, in particular, are vulnerable. A 2016 study by Puckett et al. found that microaggressions and invalidation during identity formation can interfere with mental health and identity development.

  
  

How LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy Helps

At Expansive Therapy, we don’t minimize your experience. We center it. Our team of queer-affirming therapists helps you process the emotional impact of microaggressions, while building tools for self-care, resilience, and advocacy.

Here’s what that can look like:

💬 Validation

We help you name what’s happening and recognize that your responses are normal reactions to abnormal treatment. You’re not being “too sensitive”—you’re navigating real harm.

🧠 Cognitive & Somatic Support

Through modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), we help unpack emotional reactions, shift internalized beliefs, and reconnect with a sense of personal power.

🌈 Identity Affirmation

Therapy is a place to explore and celebrate your identity—not defend it. We offer an environment that welcomes queer joy, complexity, and fluidity.

🔊 Boundary & Communication Skills

Whether you’re dealing with microaggressions in your workplace, friend group, or family, we’ll help you develop practical ways to assert yourself, set boundaries, and stay grounded.

You're Not Alone—and You Don’t Have to Shrink

It’s exhausting to be on constant alert for subtle digs or dismissals. Over time, that emotional labor can turn inward—leading to self-doubt, numbing, or burnout.

You deserve more than survival. You deserve care, safety, and healing.

Start Your Healing Journey

If you’re tired of carrying the invisible weight of microaggressions, therapy can help. At Expansive Therapy, we offer virtual LGBTQ+ affirming therapy for clients in New York and California, with therapists who understand the nuance and depth of queer experiences.

👉 Book a free consultation today and connect with a therapist who will validate and affirm you.