Creating a Queer, Mindful Experience

Megan Murphy, Expansive Cofounder

Table of Contents
A Queer Mindful Experience
Mindfulness is Beyond Binaries
A Different Way to Practice
Subject vs. Object: Why It Matters
The Real Reason I Want You to Sit With Yourself
Tiny Practices, Huge Shifts
Your Two-Minute Expansive Queer Love Project

A Queer Mindful Experience

It’s very difficult to experience life—or the mind—without thought. But occasionally, we do.

In brief moments of pure awareness, we experience life just as it is, before judgments come in: this is good, this is bad, this I don’t care about.

But our judgments are not the truth—they’re just repetitive ways of thinking, learned over years of being raised in a particular family and culture. Some of these judgments are good and ethical, but many are not. And most of the time, it feels like we have no control over them.

Mindfulness Is Beyond Binaries

There is no binary in mindfulness—only noticing, without categorizing.
Before judgment arises, there’s simply awareness: a feeling, a sound, a sight.

In this brief moment before categorizing begins, there is a queer and open experience.

While you’ve been taught that some thoughts and feelings are good and others are bad, that people are male or female, that some experiences are right and others wrong—the truth is: they are all just thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Passing like clouds through our existence.

What would it be like to simply notice, without labeling anything as good or bad?
What would it be like not to judge?

A Different Way to Practice

The idea of meditation can feel intimidating—like trying to run a marathon.
“I just can’t do it!”

But I won’t lie—the practice of sitting with yourself, even for a few moments, is deeply valuable.
As we begin to notice our judgments, we realize just how often we judge ourselves.

And this is what I want to help you shift.

How about a little bit of a queer practice, where all things are okay?

Sitting with yourself will almost always involve your mind trying to take over—thoughts flooding your internal space.
But with a little bit of practice, you’ll start to notice when your mind wanders.

And that noticing?
That’s the gold.

Subject vs. Object: Why It Matters

Once you can see something, you’ve moved from object to subject.
Now you have some choice.

Is that a thought you want to keep repeating?

I notice my thoughts are very negative.
I notice I keep thinking about my ex.

I notice I have so many thoughts, with no space in between them.

When we see our thoughts, we can begin to question them:

Is this really true?
Or is it just what I always think?
Is this my anxiety speaking?

The Real Reason I Want You to Sit With Yourself

Healing involves creating a kinder internal experience—so that no matter what happens, you’re on your own side.

This makes it easier to let go of what isn’t working or what has caused too much conflict.

If we come into this world alone and leave it alone, then this singular relationship—with ourselves—is worth loving beyond all else.

When you pay attention to how you feel—physically or emotionally—without judgment, you’re spending quality time with yourself.
It’s exactly like being with someone else, only it’s with you.

Every moment spent in this kind of gentle curiosity builds a beautiful internal relationship:

Here I am.

Your greater conscious self is spending time with your earthly self.

Tiny Practices, Huge Shifts

A queer and open experience does not judge—it just is.

Think of visiting a sick friend in the hospital and simply listening to them.

Can we do this in tiny bursts with ourselves?

You’ll notice that part of you likes certain parts of your experience and not others:

“Good job, me, I’m sitting!”
“Shit, I just spent five minutes thinking about my to-do list.”

But these are all just thoughts—not good or bad.
Just passing clouds.