We are so uncomfortable with space. We want it to be filled every moment with interesting content. Or a pleasant feeling. It’s not uncommon to crave some space, a vacation from work and routine, and have an impossible time allowing ourselves to experience it.
Imagine laying in a grassy field on a summer day with nothing to do and nowhere to be. After a bit, you grab your phone. To check for something. Something new.
I do that too. We are all doing that.
I’m sitting outside of a bookstore with three new books that I am excited to delve into. I read three pages and then check my phone.
What happened?
My brain used to be on a longer leash. It was allowed to wander in space for greater amounts of time. Call this flow, daydreaming, creative meandering. That’s harder now. I blame technology for this. The distance between the thing I’m paying attention to and the distraction or the need to look at something else has gotten incredibly short. In Buddhist circles they call this ‘monkey mind’.
Our Monkey Minds are Running the Show
This short attention span can cause you to lose a certain kind of confidence in yourself. Even while being the monkey itself, lost in moving quickly from stimulating thing to stimulating thing, you have a greater awareness that this is happening. That you are having trouble being still, being satisfied in the moment as it is. There is a path to working with the monkey.
Awareness is Your Superpower
We ask ourselves, what is happening right now? When you ask this question, who is doing the asking? Let’s call that your higher mind. Your higher mind is seeing another part of your own experience. If you can see the experience, then you are not the experience itself. This means that you have some choice in continuing to pay attention to it. So, you can see the phone checking, and you might be aware of a restlessness in your body. This is what is happening. For this brief moment you have been present.
We are so uncomfortable with space. We want it to be filled every moment with interesting content. Or a pleasant feeling. It’s not uncommon to crave some space, a vacation from work and routine, and have an impossible time allowing ourselves to experience it.
Imagine laying in a grassy field on a summer day with nothing to do and nowhere to be. After a bit, you grab your phone. To check for something. Something new.
I do that too. We are all doing that.
I’m sitting outside of a bookstore with three new books that I am excited to delve into. I read three pages and then check my phone.
What happened?
My brain used to be on a longer leash. It was allowed to wander in space for greater amounts of time. Call this flow, daydreaming, creative meandering. That’s harder now. I blame technology for this. The distance between the thing I’m paying attention to and the distraction or the need to look at something else has gotten incredibly short. In Buddhist circles they call this ‘monkey mind’.
Our Monkey Minds are Running the Show
This short attention span can cause you to lose a certain kind of confidence in yourself. Even while being the monkey itself, lost in moving quickly from stimulating thing to stimulating thing, you have a greater awareness that this is happening. That you are having trouble being still, being satisfied in the moment as it is. There is a path to working with the monkey.
Awareness is Your Superpower
We ask ourselves, what is happening right now? When you ask this question, who is doing the asking? Let’s call that your higher mind. Your higher mind is seeing another part of your own experience. If you can see the experience, then you are not the experience itself. This means that you have some choice in continuing to pay attention to it. So, you can see the phone checking, and you might be aware of a restlessness in your body. This is what is happening. For this brief moment you have been present.
We are so uncomfortable with space. We want it to be filled every moment with interesting content. Or a pleasant feeling. It’s not uncommon to crave some space, a vacation from work and routine, and have an impossible time allowing ourselves to experience it.
Imagine laying in a grassy field on a summer day with nothing to do and nowhere to be. After a bit, you grab your phone. To check for something. Something new.
I do that too. We are all doing that.
I’m sitting outside of a bookstore with three new books that I am excited to delve into. I read three pages and then check my phone.
What happened?
My brain used to be on a longer leash. It was allowed to wander in space for greater amounts of time. Call this flow, daydreaming, creative meandering. That’s harder now. I blame technology for this. The distance between the thing I’m paying attention to and the distraction or the need to look at something else has gotten incredibly short. In Buddhist circles they call this ‘monkey mind’.
Our Monkey Minds are Running the Show
This short attention span can cause you to lose a certain kind of confidence in yourself. Even while being the monkey itself, lost in moving quickly from stimulating thing to stimulating thing, you have a greater awareness that this is happening. That you are having trouble being still, being satisfied in the moment as it is. There is a path to working with the monkey.
Awareness is Your Superpower
We ask ourselves, what is happening right now? When you ask this question, who is doing the asking? Let’s call that your higher mind. Your higher mind is seeing another part of your own experience. If you can see the experience, then you are not the experience itself. This means that you have some choice in continuing to pay attention to it. So, you can see the phone checking, and you might be aware of a restlessness in your body. This is what is happening. For this brief moment you have been present.
Realizing That You Have a Choice is Your Other Superpower
When we sit in meditation our mind wanders and after a minute or fifteen minutes we notice (higher mind awareness) and we bring it back to our breath or mantra or present moment. This is the work. It’s not very exciting, but it is powerful.
I use this part of my mind during a session. What is happening now? I zoom out from the content to see a greater perspective. Maybe the client is ensconced in a pattern. Maybe I’m having some feelings. All of this is valuable information. It’s what is happening. Now I have some choice in whether to intervene, or not.
Conscious Awareness
I like to think that when I’m experiencing my higher mind, when I can be present with the moment, what I’m actually doing is tapping into the consciousness field that we all share.
Visiting this higher conscious awareness, even for a moment, is the key. I will still stop even this thought and check my phone or go to the bathroom or change positions. For a moment I was aware. But that muscle grows stronger, my conscious awareness muscle, because I am using it more often.
What We Pay Attention to….
Grows. So finding ways to connect and pay attention to what really matters to us will build a more beautiful and intentional life. This is not a moral choice. You are not a better person for sticking with a thought or project, nor a bad person for letting it go and checking your phone. But your choices, made over and over, create your life.
If you are frustrated with yourself, with your mind, with self compassion, seeking therapy may give you the chance to create greater awareness of what is actually happening, enabling you to have more choice. And every now and then find yourself in the beautiful present moment.
