For many people, sexuality is a central part of identity and relationships. But for some, the experience of sexual attraction—or lack thereof—can look very different. If you've ever felt out of sync with society’s assumptions about sex and desire, you might be wondering: What does it mean to be asexual?

Whether you're questioning your orientation, discovering new language for your experience, or seeking support as you explore your identity, working with a queer-affirming therapist can help you make sense of what asexuality means for you.

What Is Asexuality?

Asexuality, or being asexual, is a sexual orientation characterized by little or no sexual attraction to others. It's a valid identity on the broad spectrum of human sexuality—not a disorder, not a phase, and not something that needs to be “fixed.”

People who identify as asexual may still experience:

• Romantic attraction (e.g., being heteroromantic, biromantic, aromantic, etc.)

• Emotional or sensual intimacy

• Desire for connection, partnership, or love

• Sexual activity, sometimes for reasons like bonding, curiosity, or partner pleasure

The Asexuality Spectrum

Asexuality exists on a spectrum, often called the Ace Spectrum, which includes a variety of experiences such as:

• Gray-asexual (gray-ace): Rare or occasional experiences of sexual attraction

• Demisexual: Sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond

• Sex-repulsed, sex-neutral, or sex-positive asexuals: Describing how a person feels about engaging in sex, regardless of attraction

  
  

Each person's relationship to sex and intimacy is unique—and there’s no one “right” way to be ace.

Am I Asexual? Common Questions People Ask

It's normal to have questions when exploring asexuality. Some that often come up in therapy include:

• Why don’t I feel sexual attraction like other people do?

• Can I still be in a relationship if I’m asexual?

• What if I enjoy sex sometimes—does that mean I’m not ace?

• Is something “wrong” with me?

• How do I talk to partners or loved ones about my identity?

  
  

These questions don’t always have simple answers—but therapy can help you unpack, explore, and affirm your experience with compassion and clarity.

How Therapy Can Help You Explore Asexuality

If you're unsure where you fit on the sexuality spectrum, or struggling with stigma, therapy can offer a safe, affirming space to process and explore. Here's how:

1. Understanding and Affirming Your Identity

A queer-informed therapist can help you sort through confusing feelings, challenge internalized shame, and affirm your identity—whatever it looks like. You're not broken. You're valid.

2. Unpacking Social Pressure and Norms

We live in a sex-saturated culture. Therapy helps you deconstruct the societal belief that sex is essential to intimacy, health, or self-worth, and make space for your own truth.

3. Supporting Relationship Navigation

Whether you're solo, dating, or in a long-term partnership, therapy can help you navigate conversations about boundaries, intimacy, and differing needs, with empathy and confidence.

4. Exploring Intersectional Identities

Being asexual can intersect with other parts of your identity—like gender, race, disability, or neurodivergence. Therapy creates space to understand how these layers impact your lived experience.

5. Healing from Shame or Erasure

Many ace individuals face invalidating experiences, including being told they’re “just repressed,” “too picky,” or that “they’ll change.” Therapy offers support in healing from this erasure and finding community.

Asexuality Is valid. You deserve the right care.

Being asexual doesn’t mean you can’t experience love, connection, or intimacy. It means you experience them on your own terms. Therapy can help you embrace who you are, understand your needs, and build relationships that reflect your truth.

Whether you’re questioning, coming out, or navigating your identity with a partner, you don’t have to do it alone.

Explore Asexuality with a Queer-Affirming Therapist

Our practice specializes in supporting people across the asexual and aromantic spectrums, as well as those exploring questions of identity, intimacy, and connection. We aim to a space that centers your voice and honors your experience.

Check out our website or contact us today to connect with an affirming therapist.