Identity
Benefits of Polyamory: 5 Research-Based Findings
Expansive Therapy
As a therapy practice that focuses on alternative relationships, our therapists have a lot of experience dealing with poly relationships, and a few of of us are in them ourselves. There are many benefits of polyamory, many backed by science.
But the only thing to remember as you consider benefits of a poly relationship is that none of them come easy. They definitely don't come the day you decide to become poly. The benefits come over time to people who are committed to building a strong foundation for their polycule. The growth requires leaning in and getting uncomfortable, and having the right support in doing so.
Table of Contents
Different types of polyamory
Polyamory can enhance communication skills
Polyamory provides flexibility and adaptability
Polyamory can provide more emotional support and resilience
Polyamory has equal or greater relationship satisfaction as traditional relationships
Polyamory can provide more emotional support and resilience
FAQ regarding polyamory
Expansive Therapy can help your polyamorous relationship
Different Types of Polyamory
If you're part of an evolving relationship and you're considering polyamory or are currently practicing, something that's important to know is that polyamory isn't a one-size-fits-all relationship structure. People practice it in various ways, each with unique dynamics and goals.
Here are a few common types:
Solo Polyamory: Individuals maintain their independence while having multiple relationships, often prioritizing personal growth and autonomy over shared commitments like cohabitation or joint finances.
Kitchen Table Polyamory: Partners and metamours (partners of partners) are comfortable enough to share time together, such as at family gatherings or casual meetups.
Hierarchical Polyamory: Some relationships are prioritized over others, often with primary and secondary partners defined by mutual agreement.
Non-Hierarchical Polyamory: All relationships are given equal weight, focusing on fairness and emotional balance rather than prioritization.
Each structure comes with its own benefits and challenges, making it essential for individuals to choose what works best for their unique needs. If you don’t meet your own needs, or your partner’s needs aren’t met, what good are the polyamory benefits anyway?
But, what are the research-backed benefits of polyamory?
Polyamory Can Enhance Communication Skills
Research has found that individuals in polyamorous relationships tend to develop strong communication skills. A study published in the Journal of Sex Research from September 2024, conducted by Anthony F. Bogaert et al. found that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships reported higher levels of communication satisfaction compared to those in monogamous relationships.
As most polyamorous affirming therapists will tell you, polyamory takes work, and it requires a strong foundation of trust and communication. It requires open and honest communication about desires, boundaries, and emotions among multiple partners, so folks who are successful in polyamory often learn to express themselves effectively and empathetically.
Polyamory Allows For An Exploration of Identity and Autonomy
Polyamory can offer individuals the opportunity to explore and express different aspects of their identity and sexuality. By engaging in consensual relationships with multiple partners, individuals have the freedom to discover what works best for them in terms of intimacy, connection, and fulfillment. Research suggests that polyamorous individuals often report a greater sense of autonomy and self-awareness compared to those in monogamous relationships.
Polyamory encourages folks to get outside the box and to embrace their desires and preferences without conforming to societal norms or expectations. Of course, all of this doesn’t come easy, and sometimes research can present a rosy picture without getting into the nitty gritty. Breaking free of societal expectations takes courage, as does communicating difficult emotions when your partner is exploring different aspects of their identity and sexuality. Making sure you have the right foundation of trust and the right ongoing support can be crucial to gaining this benefit.
Polyamory Provides Flexibility and Adaptability
Polyamorous relationships often require flexibility and adaptability, as individuals navigate the complexities of multiple partnerships and evolving dynamics. What was once true at the beginning of a relationship in terms of identity, desire, or dealbreaker might be very different after a few months or few years, and a good relationship can make room for the people in it to evolve and change.
Research has shown that individuals in polyamorous relationships often develop strong problem-solving skills and emotional resilience in response to challenges. Polyamory encourages individuals to make hard but necessary decision - to prioritize honesty, negotiation, and compromise, which leads to ongoing individual and relational benefits. In other words, the work of polyamory expands your window of tolerance for emotional complexity and ambiguity, and therefore can accommodate more fluidity.
Polyamory Can Provide More Emotional Support and Resilience
Simply by being in relationships with more than one person, polyamorous people have multiple sources of emotional support. Having multiple partners allows individuals to lean on different people for various forms of support, such as companionship, validation, and empathy. This can create a healthy dynamic where the emotional labor is not overly placed on one member of the relationship.
Research has shown that having a strong support network is associated with greater emotional resilience and well-being. Additionally, individuals in polyamorous relationships may benefit from experiencing different perspectives and receiving support from partners with diverse backgrounds and experiences.
Polyamory Has Equal or Greater Relationship Satisfaction as Traditional Relationships
As much as we’d like to avoid comparing, it’s important to establish how polyamorous relationships compare to monogamous relationships in the research because of common misconceptions and stigma. A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships reported similar levels of relationship satisfaction, commitment, and trust compared to individuals in monogamous relationships.
Additionally, some research suggests that having multiple partners can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and intimacy, as it gives people the opportunity to connect with different people in unique and meaningful ways.
FAQ Regarding Polyamory
What is polyamory?
Polyamory, meaning the practice of having more than one partner or opening up your relationship to have more than one partner, is a type of ethical non-monogamy.
My partner is hesitant about this change. What are some arguments explaining why polyamory is good?
First things first: ask your partner what about polyamory is making them hesitant.
Secondly, before jumping into polyamory, it may be helpful to address any core concerns about changing the relationship dynamic. If the concerns are significant, it might be useful to bring them into relationship therapy to work through them.
Are open relationships and polyamorous relationships the same?
They can be, but aren't always. Read our blog post about the difference between polyamory and an open relationship to learn more.
I want to learn more about polyamory! What are some books on polyamory I can read?
If you're interested in exploring polyamory further, here are some highly regarded books that offer valuable insights:
The Ethical Slut
Authored by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, this book is considered a foundational guide to understanding and practicing ethical non-monogamy. It covers topics such as communication, consent, and navigating jealousy.More Than Two
Written by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, this practical guide delves into the nuances of polyamory, offering advice on building and sustaining multiple loving relationships with integrity.Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy
By Jessica Fern, this book explores the intersection of attachment theory and polyamory, providing strategies to build secure and healthy relationships.Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
Authored by Tristan Taormino, this comprehensive guide examines various forms of non-monogamous relationships, offering practical advice on communication, setting boundaries, and dealing with challenges.The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival
By Kathy Labriola, this resource addresses the unique challenges of breakups in polyamorous relationships and offers guidance on healing and moving forward.
Is it healthy to be polyamorous?
Polyamory can be healthy and fulfilling for individuals who practice it with clear communication, consent, and mutual respect. Research suggests that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships can experience similar levels of relationship satisfaction and psychological well-being as those in monogamous relationships.
However, it's essential to recognize that polyamory may not be suitable for everyone, and success largely depends on the individuals involved and their ability to navigate the complexities of multiple relationships.
What are the advantages of polyamory?
Polyamory offers several potential benefits, including:
Diverse Emotional Support: Engaging with multiple partners can provide a broader support network.
Personal Growth: Navigating multiple relationships can enhance communication skills and emotional intelligence.
Variety of Experiences: Different partners can fulfill various emotional and intellectual needs.
Increased Autonomy: Polyamory allows individuals to explore relationships without the constraints of monogamy.
It's important to note that these advantages are contingent upon the effective management of the relationships involved.
What do psychologists say about polyamory?
Psychologists recognize polyamory as a legitimate and potentially fulfilling relationship structure when practiced ethically. They emphasize the importance of communication, consent, and boundary-setting in managing multiple relationships. Studies suggest that individuals in polyamorous relationships can experience similar levels of relationship satisfaction and psychological well-being as those in monogamous relationships. However, stigma and myths about polyamory can pose challenges for polyamorous individuals.
If you're interested in exploring polyamory or seeking support in navigating non-monogamous relationships, consider reaching out to us at Expansive Therapy. We offer LGBTQ+ affirming therapy with expertise in areas such as polyamory and open relationships. Our mission is to create a space where all of your experiences, emotions, and identities are validated, facilitating healing and growth.
Is polyamory good for mental health?
Polyamory can have both positive and negative effects on mental health, depending on individual circumstances and how relationships are managed. Potential benefits include increased emotional support and personal growth.
However, challenges such as jealousy, time management, and societal stigma can negatively impact mental health. It's crucial for individuals to assess their own needs and boundaries and to engage in open communication with their partners to ensure that their relationship structures support their well-being.
How does polyamory work sexually?
Polyamory involves engaging in multiple consensual romantic or sexual relationships simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. Sexual dynamics in polyamorous relationships can vary widely based on individual preferences, agreements, and the specific structure of the relationship.
Sexual Dynamics in Polyamory:
Diverse Structures: Polyamorous relationships can take various forms, such as triads (three people involved with each other), quads (four people), vees (one person connected to two partners who are not involved with each other), or larger networks often referred to as polycules. Each structure influences sexual interactions differently.
Individual Agreements: Partners establish their own boundaries and agreements regarding sexual activities. Some may practice polyfidelity, where all members are sexually exclusive within a defined group, while others may have open arrangements allowing for external sexual relationships.
Communication and Consent: Open and honest communication is crucial in polyamorous relationships. Discussing desires, boundaries, and safe sex practices ensures that all parties are comfortable and consenting.
Sexual Fluidity: Polyamory allows individuals to explore a range of sexual identities and orientations. This fluidity can lead to diverse sexual experiences and connections within the relationship network.
Managing Jealousy and Emotions: Navigating multiple sexual relationships requires addressing emotions like jealousy. Establishing clear boundaries and maintaining ongoing communication can help manage these feelings.
It's important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sexuality in polyamory. Each relationship is unique, and partners collaboratively determine the dynamics that work best for them.
Expansive Therapy Can Help Your Polyamorous Relationship
As you can see, the pros of polyamory are expansive. Conversely, without careful communication and respect for boundaries, polyamory can also lead to heartbreak, just like any other relationship. There's a balance to everything, and we can't pretend there can't be disadvantages. Just like with everything, there are pros and cons to a poly relationship.
If you are considering becoming polyamory or already polyamorous, ask yourself if you have the right support to do the work and get these benefits. You may also benefit from conducting additional research (by the way, here are 7 Questions Before Becoming a Throuple.)
If you're feeling like you're in over your head, a poly affirming therapist might be a good move. Expansive Therapy prides ourself on being affirming of poly relationships, and we offer free consultations so you can make sure it feels like a match before moving forward. Contact us today to get started.
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