Table of Contents

• Growing Up Queer and Asian in Texas

• Discovering Identity & Starting Therapy

• Embracing Fluidity: Labels Aren’t Everything

• Grieving Family Relationships

• Finding Supportive Community as a Queer Asian

• Growth as a Lifelong Journey

Growing up in Texas, I was already struggling to find my identity as a child of Chinese immigrants, and when I realized I was queer in middle school, my world exploded. My parents were devout Christians (we attended church every sunday and regularly hosted or participated in bible study gatherings) and extremely conservative: I had heard my fair share of discriminatory comments over the years that they justified with their religion. I was scared to be anything but the perfect Chinese daughter, so I shut down, burying myself in school, social media, gaming, anything to take my mind off of the inner turmoil I was experiencing about my identity. This chronic avoidance persisted until college, when I finally found my way into therapy.  It was terrifying to face head on something I had suppressed for so long, but it was crucial to getting where I am today, confident and proud. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way.

1. Labels aren’t everything.

1. When I was exploring my identity, I was scared to tie myself down to a label. The societal ritual of coming out made me feel like I had to be sure what exactly I was before I started telling people. And after I did tell people, I felt that, despite my identity changing/becoming clearer, I couldn’t invest too much thought into it because I had already decided and made a whole show about it.  Labels are just words that help provide clarity on our identities, not defining descriptors. As you grow and discover more about yourself and your preferences, don’t be afraid to embrace new labels, come back to old ones, or even forgo labels altogether for a period. There is no shame in understanding yourself on a deeper level, only joy.