Understanding Asexuality: A Guide from a Queer-Affirming Therapy Practice

Expansive Therapy

Asexuality is a valid and often misunderstood sexual orientation. At our LGBTQ+ affirming therapy practice, we support individuals across the asexual spectrum—also known as the ace spectrum—to explore identity, set boundaries, heal from stigma in a supportive therapeutic space, and find freedom and empowerment.

What Is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by little to no sexual attraction to others. It is an inherent part of some people’s identities and is not caused by trauma, fear, or repression. Like all orientations, it exists on a spectrum.

Common Asexual Spectrum (Ace-Spec) Identities:

Gray-Asexual (Gray-Ace): Occasional or conditional sexual attraction.
Demisexual: Sexual attraction only after a strong emotional connection.
Aromantic: Little or no romantic attraction (can overlap with asexuality).

Asexual people may or may not engage in sexual activity, relationships, or desire romantic connections. Each person's experience is unique.

Asexuality Misconceptions and Challenges

Unfortunately, many asexual individuals encounter misinformation, invalidation, and aphobia (prejudice against asexuality), such as:

"You're just not trying hard enough."
"You must be broken or repressed."
"Everyone wants sex—you just haven't met the right person."

These myths can lead to mental health challenges, including self-doubt, social isolation, and difficulty maintaining relationships. Therapy can provide validation, healing, and empowerment.

How Therapy Can Help Asexual Individuals

At our queer-affirming counseling practice, we provide safe, inclusive mental health support tailored to the needs of asexual people. Here's how therapy can help:

1. Affirming Asexual Identity

Therapy offers space to:

Explore where you fall on the asexual or graysexual spectrum.
Process internalized stigma or aphobia.
Feel validated and empowered in your identity.

2. Navigating Relationships as an Asexual Person

Many asexual people face challenges in relationships, especially when partnered with someone allosexual (someone who experiences sexual attraction). Therapy can help:

Establish and communicate clear boundaries.
Explore forms of intimacy outside of sex.
Navigate mixed-orientation relationships with care and mutual respect.

3. Healing from Stigma and Rejection

Therapy provides tools to cope with:

Past trauma from invalidation or gaslighting.
Negative experiences with healthcare providers or partners.
The pressure to conform to sexual or romantic norms.

4. Building Connection and Community

Asexuality can sometimes feel isolating. A therapist can help you:

Address feelings of loneliness or “not fitting in.”
Explore platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic relationships.
Connect with ace-positive communities and resources.

Our Approach to Asexual-Affirming Therapy

We understand that asexuality a valid and natural identity. Our therapists are trained in LGBTQIA+ competent and asexual-inclusive care. We approach every session with respect, openness, and a commitment to meet you where you are.

We:

Avoid pathologizing your orientation.
Validate your lived experiences and personal goals.
Support you in living a full, authentic, and connected life.

Asexual? Questioning? You’re Not Alone.

Whether you’re confidently ace, questioning where you fall on the spectrum, or seeking therapy for unrelated mental health issues in a safe, queer-inclusive space, we’re here for you.